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Ask These Three Questions And Listen Properly

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Episode 126

Three questions can change the tone of a whole week: What’s your biggest recent win? What’s your biggest recent challenge? What do you need help with? We steal the prompt from a morning listen and put it to the test in real time, with honest answers that feel like a proper catch-up rather than a performance.

We start with wins that actually move the needle, from building a “Wellbeing Wednesday” ritual with Pilates, nature and community, to choosing to stay alcohol free and noticing how often birthdays and celebrations still push drinking as the default. We talk about why self-care can feel weirdly “too luxurious”, and how connection in person hits differently to a screen, even when online classes are convenient.

Then we go into the harder stuff: menopause and perimenopause hot flushes that feel like a public announcement, the mental load of managing symptoms, and the way visibility creates stress at work and in social spaces. We also share the ongoing challenge of post-concussion after-effects that can make the world feel like it’s tilting, plus the frustration of being a “fixer” when there isn’t a neat solution. Finally, we get practical about asking for help, from home organisation and cleaning to business tech and the pain of hiring support that doesn’t deliver.

If you try the three questions with your partner, family or friends, tell us what shifts. Subscribe, share with someone who needs a nudge towards better wellbeing, and leave us a review so more women can find Far Too Fabulous.

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You can continue the conversation with us in the Far 2 Fabulous Facebook group. Come and connect with other women on a journey to empowered health. 

For more information about Julie Clark Nutrition, click HERE
For more information about Catherine Chapman, click HERE
 

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We look forward to you joining us on the next episode.

Welcome And The Three Questions

SPEAKER_00

Welcome to Far Too Fabulous. Fabulousness and reading find wellness. Get ready for some fightiness, inspiration, and chat, and humour as we journey together towards empowered wellbeing.

SPEAKER_01

Let's dive in. Hello and welcome to this week's episode of the Far Too Fabulous podcast. Catherine's already giggling.

SPEAKER_00

Just a little, I just gave you a little side-eye there, and I caught you laughing.

SPEAKER_01

Every time. Anyway, this on this episode, this is slightly different. So I was listening to my calm app, like I do in the morning. I was listening to Jay Shetty, and he was talking about these three questions. And so I thought they were really good questions, and I thought we could answer these questions together. But I said to you, I'm not going to tell you what the questions are. Yeah, I feel like I'm being interviewed now. Should I should I be nervous? I don't think so. No. But it was just interesting. And I thought it would be good maybe for the listeners to also use these three questions with their other halves or their friends or their family. Yeah. Just to yeah, just get conversation going about things happening in their life.

SPEAKER_00

Just to get a conversation would be good. I mean, I you live with teenagers. I don't know. Your Charlie's pretty chatty, I think, but sometimes I have to drag words out of many of my family, they're not as chatty as me. Actually, no, I take that back. Anya is as chatty as me. Oh, okay. Yeah, there's you have to try and stop it. It's the flow coming out of her, coming at you all of the time. But no, the other two and Mark are not as chatty. So it'd be good to have some questions.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, well, it's interesting that your less chatty child is going to be joining us, and you've just said that before she's arrived, so that's quite good. Yeah, that you've got that.

SPEAKER_00

Well, she she knows, but she's not, it's not like she's shy, she's just deliberately not chatty unless she has something she wants to say, she just doesn't say anything. It's very interesting, it's very hard for me because I am super chatty. It's a teenager thing, definitely.

SPEAKER_01

Definitely, right? So, my first question for you is what's been your biggest recent win? My biggest recent win is well being Wednesday. Knew you were gonna say that.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, it's just it's literally revolutionised my entire week. Like Wednesday

Biggest Wins And Wellbeing Wednesday

SPEAKER_00

was just a boring old middle of the week hump day, and it has it's just made a real event of it. And what's been really interesting is that it feels luxurious, and I think that that's actually being a barrier for some people because you're spending this time, there's only like an hour in the field doing Pilates, and then we spend an hour if you want to, going for a walk or sitting and having a coffee. But it feels really luxurious, and I think that maybe weirdly that's almost a barrier for some people because we're not very good at spending that time and effort and a bit of money on ourselves. But it's just been it's been absolutely beautiful. The connection with other people being out in nature has been absolutely week changing. It's been really and it's also it means that I have connected in with people that I used to train in person that when I went online they didn't come online with me. There weren't very many, but all of those have come back immediately, which was really, really lovely. And being able to have that connection with my online members um and having yeah, having that space, it's just been yeah, it's been really, really lovely. It's been a lot of work, but um, yeah, it's it and it's it's kind of I don't know, it's just it's it's woken me up a little bit as well, I think, which has been really nice.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, that that is really good. And I think like having online stuff is super convenient, yeah, it works really well, and post-COVID we've got used to that, haven't we? Yeah, but we also are people that need connection, yeah. So that chance to that person because I know when you're doing your classes that you can see everyone. I can.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, we do and I mean I do try and make it as much of an um interactive and in-person class as as I possibly can. Yeah, but yeah, there it is different, and to be able to have that hybrid, to be able to have the convenience. I said this yesterday as it was pouring with rain, and we'd just done Paloxin online. I was like, how smug do I feel? That this morning, when it was beautiful sunshine, we did Pilates and it was lovely, it was gorgeous. I have ordered sunshine for every single Wednesday. I've noticed that. I have noticed that. So hopefully that will continue. But I'm not doing it on purpose. The rain on Wednesday afternoon and evening, every single Wednesday, afternoon, evening, bar that beautiful sunny week that we had. It has rained in the afternoon. That's not me. I'm not ordering that. That's not my fault.

SPEAKER_01

So you can see everyone on the screen, but also as people that are participating, we can see other people as well. Yeah, and sometimes we may not have even met those people. Yeah. Well, a lot of the time. So actually, it's quite nice as well to go to an in-person class and go, Oh, yeah, you're so-and-so, you're normally up on the left of the screen because you get in first or whatever.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, no, exactly. I've had members that have never met each other only on screen, met each other on the train before and going, Oh, I know who you are. I recognise you. It's lovely. I love it so much. But yeah, it's a really nice opportunity to have that to grow that connection, to grow that community, which has just been been lovely.

SPEAKER_01

That's a nice big win. Is there anything else? Anything outside of work that's been a big win? What outside of work?

SPEAKER_00

What is this world you talk about, Julie? Outside of work. Um oh my goodness. No, there's nothing. I've I finally ordered a new phone. That's quite a big win, I think. That's a serious win. This it was such a big win that when I consulted with ChatGPT about what phone I should have, it pretty much took the piss out of me and said, Well, anything is gonna be better than your S10 that you got in 2019. Yeah, that I mean that's lasted a long time, isn't it? That's quite impressive. It has, it really has. And well, this isn't a win, but it was really lovely at the farm yesterday, whilst we were doing Pilates, two lambs were born.

SPEAKER_01

Oh that's too much. And did some little ducklings walk across as well?

SPEAKER_00

They have chicks, but they're under the incubator at the moment. Honestly.

SPEAKER_01

But when you see the little ducklins, any grown up, we fall to pieces, don't we? Yeah, yeah. Little ducklings.

SPEAKER_00

The lambs that were born last Wednesday, I decided I think they should call one lamb Catherine and maybe one lamb Joseph after Pilates. I've decided. Um, but the ones that were a week old are all leaping around, they're like on little springs, and they're just and you can't help but going, Oh, they're so cute. Yeah, they're just so cute. Yeah, I will just add, I don't know how you eat them, you lot. Because it's nice, Catherine. Well, we'll look forward to seeing that while we're recording that. What about you?

SPEAKER_01

Any wins for you? My biggest recent win is well, I haven't still drunk any how alcohol. That's amazing.

SPEAKER_00

So even though you slurred the word alcohol.

Alcohol Free Wins And Gym Goals

SPEAKER_01

I've not drunk any alcohol, but I don't really want it to be such a big deal. Yeah, but it is quite a win. It is a win when you think about it. So, yeah, that's definitely something that's ongoing, and yeah, all of that noise that's gone away. It's so interesting.

SPEAKER_00

It do you know what? It is a huge win because I so I'm I'm now I'm telling this story. I now have to confess that for once in my life I was here. There's a big win. I was a week early for your birthday. That was a massive win. You were, weren't you? I am last year you were two days late, and now you're a week early. I am late. I am late all of the time for really everything. Everything, everything, everything. And I think my diary must know this. And it flashed up. It reminded me a week early. I thought it was telling me it was today, and so I've come round with a card and flowers hilariously. My point was, as I was looking for your card, everything was about alcohol. And I've I've noticed this with Mark as well. Mark's stopped drinking, he's done over a year now, which I don't mean to make him sound like an alcoholic, but it's amazing. And when I go and buy him a birthday card or a Christmas card, it is all about prosecos and beers.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

unknown

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Gin o'clock.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Treat yourself. It's your birthday. Exactly. Yeah. Exactly. So I think it is a big deal. Yeah. So we're just see, because I've got obviously I've got my birthday coming up at the point of recording this. And um, yeah, we kind of see. Like, I'm not putting any pressure on myself, I just see how I feel about it. Yeah. But yeah, the noise has gone away, and my my Virgin Wine guy, he doesn't know how to deal with it at all. Um, because I was a member of Virgin Wines. I've paused I've paused it. I haven't cancelled it, interestingly. Paused it. Paused it, and um, yeah, he he keeps ringing me up and he can't understand why I haven't been ordering my box of wine.

SPEAKER_00

Doesn't know what to do with himself. The world has altered. Indeed, that does make me sound like an alcoholic, which of course I wasn't. That is a good win. Are there any work wins? So that's a home win.

SPEAKER_01

So work wins, mm-hmm. I've got more challenges in the work arena. So work wins, I can't really think of any at the moment. But another personal win is with my gymnastics. Yeah, because that's always there's always going to be a win there. But I've just like I've upped my difficulty on things, and when you get to this age and you're doing something like gymnastics, you you you play the maintaining game a lot. So if you're maintaining, it's actually that is a win, maintaining. And we know because naturally everything's dragging back, isn't it? No, it is, it is, and that's why we have to do more as we get older. Um, I don't know why we do less. What's going on there? But anyway, we have to do more, and so I'm competing again at the time of recording. I'm competing this weekend at the British Championships, and I'm gonna be doing my most difficult skills on three pieces, bars. No, let's not talk about bars. That's a disaster. I suck at bars, and let's just leave it there. Let's just leave it there. It's not a story, it's the truth. It is what it is, and that's the end of it.

SPEAKER_00

We have all got our skills, and you can't be good at all of them.

SPEAKER_01

But I do, I expect to be good at everything, Catherine.

SPEAKER_00

I know that you do.

SPEAKER_01

Okay, so that's our wins. Okay. Your next question.

SPEAKER_00

Oh my god, yeah.

SPEAKER_01

What's been your biggest recent challenge?

SPEAKER_00

Ooh, biggest recent challenge. Um, I mean, other than the uh hot sweats. Well, that is a challenge. It is a challenge, isn't it? It is, do you know what? It apart from the fact that and see I'm thinking about it now and I want to take my cardigan off. Apart

Menopause Hot Flushes In Public

SPEAKER_00

from the fact, like the physical thing and have having to think about weirdly having to think about what I'm wearing. Like, I went to choir on Monday with in my bag a raincoat. I had a long-sleeve t-shirt on, I had a short sleeve t-shirt in my bag, I had a fan in my bag, I have water with me because I am I'm literally dehydrating because I'm like every now and again I'm just sweating. And so I've got all of this thing. So I'm gonna kind of you're dealing with that. And the interesting thing is that I have been I've been really aware that it is highlighting my age and my stage of life, and I mean I quite I quite like my kind of pita pan-ness. Do you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, I like being in denial, exactly. It's really annoying when it's right in your face. You're like, go away, I'm in denial.

SPEAKER_00

But it's not even it's not in my face, it's making it obvious to everybody else. Like, I can pretend I'm well, I don't know. I probably can't pretend you pretend to say I'm gonna pretend I'm 25. I don't think I can pretend I'm 25. But when you know, when I'm having hot flashes, it's uh it's obvious what age I am, roughly. There's no hiding that, and it but I've it's been really the awareness around that has been really interesting. And when I've talked about it on social media and things, and I, you know, I I'll talk about anything, but it's thinking back or looking back at those videos, I'm like, oh my god, uh, like it's really that that reflection I'm finding a little bit uncomfortable. Do you know what I mean? Um, and it's not I'm not I'm not worried about going through the menopause. I'm not particularly okay, no, that's stuck. I was just about to say I'm not particularly worried about getting older, but that didn't come out very easily, so that's clearly not the truth. Denial. Yeah, okay, yeah. I I have a I've had certain furiosity about getting older. I'm like, I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna go quietly. No, um, and I think that there is perhaps there's in society there's a bit of a like a juxtaposition of with that, isn't there? About like, you know, menopause like over the hill, all that sort of bollocks. And and I'm I'm not down for that. So I think that's probably where that that sticky bit is.

SPEAKER_01

But yeah, yeah, that is quite a challenging one, and it's a challenging one for lots of people because, like you like you said, um, it's so obvious to everybody else, it's one of those symptoms. Whereas a lot of the other symptoms that might be happening, we can kind of hide from other people, but that is really obvious. And I've worked with lots of women. I remember working with this lady who was um a lawyer, and it was happening at work, and it was causing her a lot of stress because then the more she worried about it, the more it happened. Yes, it's true. Yeah, yeah, and it was yeah, it was a massive problem.

SPEAKER_00

It is, it's just like a big red beacon literally on your cheeks. Again, you saying that just made me think about another client who she said she could almost set her watch by these hot flushes every 90 minutes, and she was in um I think it was advertising, like, and she was quite high powered, quite gung-ho, and she said, and they had no idea how old she was, and again, it she's she felt like it really gave her age away or would give her age away, if and so then she felt like she couldn't actually sit in a meeting like I do in choir or something and get a get a fan out or anything. She just had to keep kind of ploughing through as if nothing was going on, and it's there's almost um there's almost an anxious feeling as you've got that's that heat is kind of welling up inside you, it's kind of like it's quite overwhelming, and so to be able to to or to have to suffocate that I think must be just awful, yeah.

SPEAKER_01

And if you think about many many jobs, teachers, or there's so many jobs where you're in front of people, yeah, and you get the dry, you can get the dry heat or you can get the wet heat. If you get the wet heat, you need to change your entire outfit. And you could be in the middle, you could be in court, like this lady was.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, very, very stressful. And we're not set up for that, not by any stretch of the imagination. I think we're we're coming on leaps and bounds with uh lots of perimenopause talk, but uh I think we're a long way off of going. Excuse me, Your Honor, I've just had a hot flush, I'm just off to change.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, well, the same sort of thing happens when you're breastfeeding, yeah, and your body's going like, I need the the I've built the milk up and you can feel it, you it goes so tight and it becomes painful, and then you start leaking, don't you? So it's like, yeah, I need to go and pump this. Yeah, yeah, because it's coming out. You need those sort of things. It's yeah, that they are huge challenges that I think you're quite right. It's the fact that it's not the social norm, it's not we haven't we haven't made that just a normal, acceptable thing, yeah, that we just deal with. Yeah, well, hopefully we'll just keep keep going.

SPEAKER_00

Keep keep speaking these things out loud.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. Um, one of my biggest challenges recently, although it relates to something that happened a couple of years ago, is after having that head trauma two years ago. So it's two years now since I did that, and I still get like episodes of really it's not dizzy, it's difficult to explain,

Post Concussion Wobble And Frustration

SPEAKER_01

but I feel like I'm walking on a boat or a moving train or something like that. And I'll get out of bed and I go to walk across the room, and I feel like I'm on the tilt. And so, and I don't know what triggers it, and I don't, although I've I've learned some something recently that might be able to help because there's nothing in terms of medic medical, like I've been back to get some further help. There's nothing structural, medical that anybody can see, but I'm experiencing that, and it's so annoying because it affects everything, and of course, I'm trying to do gymnastics as well with that, but just generally don't have an episode of that on the beam, exactly, and sometimes I'll wake up with it and it will be there for a few days and then it suddenly goes and it will come out of nowhere. I can go weeks without having it, so that I find quite challenging because I am a fixer person, yeah, and trying to find a solution, which I do think I might have now found some reason why that's happening.

SPEAKER_00

It's interesting because each thing, like when you've either researched it or you've gone and sought out experts about it, and you have and you've worked hard to put these like exercises that you've got to do in place. Each thing has kind of got you closer to like better in inverted commas, but you do work very hard on that.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, and it just makes me think about people that have suffered concussions or head traumas or injuries. It's such a huge like it impacts everything in your system, it's so significant, yeah. But you just you're you're carrying on as everything's normal, but you're feeling like you're on a boat all the time, and it's really like not feeling grounded, yeah, is a horrible, it's horrible.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. I and I and I bet there is a there's a whole mental thing about not being able to to fix that and and what that means about you. I bet you you get to make all these stories up, don't you?

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, of course you do. Yeah, you probably feel that a bit like that with your hot flushes as well. You know, I should be able to sort this out. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

There's a huge amount of that that I'm I feel a little bit hard done by. That I'm and the same with the with the dizziness. You know, we're we're fit, we're healthy, we do the most we can possibly do, I think, within our lives. There's always room for improvement, obviously, but at the moment, the most we can do with our lives, and we've still got to put up with these ailments, and yeah, sometimes it it annoys me.

SPEAKER_01

To put it mildly, yeah. And one of the reasons why I like these questions as well is that with that particular thing, and maybe with your hot flushes, it's not I'm not having this conversation with people. Other people may not be aware that I'm walking around like that and it's a struggle, yeah. The same as with you, yeah. They might just say, oh well, you know, Catherine's of a certain age, she's having some hot flushes, she she just get on with it. But actually, it is impacting you.

SPEAKER_00

And when I'm when that happens when I'm out in public, you know, I'll make a I'll make a joke of it or something. But um, because that's the that's the way I get through things, but yeah, it's definitely uh grates on me.

SPEAKER_01

I had um, I won't go into details now, but I had a really interesting conversation with a group of friends where one of my friends brought up a very sensitive topic, and then we all started talking about it, and we were hang a minute, this is actually normal. There are four of us here, we're all experiencing the

Why Talking Makes It Lighter

SPEAKER_01

same thing. You've had the guts to bring it up, and yeah, in the like just out in the open, this is not being discussed at all. We may have to do an episode about it, but it is a very sensitive topic.

SPEAKER_00

Interesting.

SPEAKER_01

But I just thought that was fascinating. And then when I was doing my my meditation and the and he came up with these three questions, I thought if we're talking about These things, then maybe it will um enable our listeners to also have these conversations and just say, you know, I am experiencing this, or I just had a massive win, go me. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00

And absolutely, I love that, and I think that's the good thing about the podcast for for one, and I keep me keep going back and mentioning um Kate and her podcast, but she was talking about her back catalogue of podcasts being like that first step to somebody feeling like somebody knows how they're feeling when they're losing their hair, yeah. And so listening to those podcasts and hearing stories of other people and like feeling like that you're not on your own, and I think that's that's that's a huge win if you're pardon the pardon the pun with questions, and also women are a lot better at doing that in general, is in talking about things. I think the trouble is because we are a little bit more isolated with working online and things like that, we don't necessarily get to come together to have those conversations. I I'm sure I've said this on the podcast before with my NCT group with Anya, when we'd all get together and you'd be like holding this small baby, not having a blooming clue what we were doing, and you'd be like, minded this, and then everybody around the table goes, Oh, mine did that too, minded that too, minded that too. And you're like, Oh my god, it's normal, they're not broken. I'm not terrible at this, I'm not the only one, it's absolutely normal, and I think, yeah, it's it's so important to have these communities, and I think an example that we have gone a long way from these communities, and I think that we're coming back to them is when I was advertising Business Women Unlimited over the last couple of weeks, which is a networking, female networking group that I run locally. I have been speaking with other people that have been creating female social groups, a lot more for younger women, sort of 20s and 30s, to get together, to do activities and just have that social interaction. I don't know, I don't know whether it's COVID, I don't know whether it's just our sort of digital progression, I don't know if we're just all like anxious or apro. I don't know what it is that is stopping us all getting together like we like we used to.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, we've been speaking about this because like my my daughter spends a lot of time speaking online to her friends pretty much every day, gets home from school, puts the computer on, checks up with her friends. Her friend lives just around the corner. Like just at a thought go and meet at the park. Why don't you just go around and knock on the door? Knock on the door. What's the door? Knock on the door? Knock on the door. What are you crazy, mum? Yeah, it's it's definitely a thing. You don't do that anymore. You don't just go around and knock. What if they're not in? Well, you know they're in because you've just been online, but what if they're not in? Well, they won't answer the door, or someone are answering the door and they go, Oh, so and so's out. What's the problem? Oh my god, or if they're not in, it's yeah, that's how it is.

SPEAKER_00

No, it's it's yeah, it's very bizarre. So it's interesting that we're having to kind of evolve this, and people are creating like actually creating social spaces for women to come into and interact and meet friends and meet new people. So I mean it's good that it's happening, but I think it's very, very interesting that there is that necessity, that need for it, yeah, indeed.

SPEAKER_01

Right, what's something you need help with? Oh my god, how long have you got four minutes?

SPEAKER_00

Oh god. Um, organisation. I was thinking this today about um, like with with regards, well, with regards to my entire life, really, but with regards to my business, I think the biggest help

Asking For Help With Home Life

SPEAKER_00

would be if I had somebody almost like a business manager to kind of help me with organisation. I have I've been very lucky. Kitty has been on work experience with me, my youngest, who has actually just joined us in the uh in the podcast bedroom. In the studio, in the podcast, the recording studio. This was uh if she doesn't know that we've already mentioned her in the podcast and how little she speaks, so she's it's probably not great that she's here with the podcast. But um, see now here we go, just as a full live example of menopause. I've totally forgot what I was saying.

SPEAKER_01

And I can't remember where you were going with that either.

SPEAKER_00

Organisation, organization, yay! And I'm not even gonna cut that bit out when we're gonna take that as a big win today. Yeah, I remembered. Kitty's been here helping me, she's been doing some videos for me, and she's been helping Daddy with some bits and pieces and on the website and social media and stuff. And so I I need a permanent kitty, is actually what I need. Well, that is a tax a tax-deductible uh expenditure. I think the Langton might have something to say about me keeping Kitty at home, though. They might maybe she should do her exams first, then we should let her do exams first, but yeah, or and and a housekeeper, I'd like a housekeeper.

SPEAKER_01

I think make her do it after school and at the weekends.

SPEAKER_00

I have been trying, so I my um my cleaner has recently left us, and so I devised this plan that I would, for instance, I would clean downstairs one week, Mark would clean upstairs the next week, Mikey would clean downstairs the next week, Kitty would clean upstairs the next week, just as an example as I'm working out. When Arnie comes back, she'll be involved in it too. Um, so I did mine, Mark did his. This was about four weeks ago. The house is looking terrible. Nothing else is nothing's snapped, nothing's been done. I even threatened Mikey with, right, if you if you miss a week, if you're late with a week, then you have to do the next week. He said, Well, that's fine, then I won't do it this week, I'll just do next week. Yeah, yeah. They don't care, that's the thing. They don't care if it's messy. I mean, I have a fairly, I don't know if it's high or a low threshold for for mess. I'm I'm I am a little bit chaotic, I'm a bit messy, and I've I I don't mind it looking lived in because you know it's you've got to live in it, it's not a show home. Mark isn't is not as tolerant, it makes him quite grumpy.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, it causes stress, it causes me stress actually.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, it is nice when it's like when it all looks lovely. I oh god, now I'm confessing everything. I recently, I recently put my floor drobe away. I had it was literally a mountain, it was a what a meter high full of clothes. Mark has given up with the floor drobe. He's like, he's letting that go. You know, he's picking his battles, he's letting that go. I recently I got on one and I put it away. This is the hormones. You can I can see my I can see when I like I clean like once a month, that's your lot. When the hormones are there with me. And um, it had been like that for so long that when I woke up the next morning, the clear floor made me jump. Wow, that is quite something. It had been like that for a long time. Yeah, like just kind of rummage through it. They're all clean, like it's not dirty, the dirty stuff goes straight in the in the laundry bin. It's all clean, but uh it just doesn't hasn't quite made it up onto the hangers, which it's there now.

unknown

Good.

SPEAKER_00

I hate putting clothes away. Perhaps that's it. I'd like someone to come put my clothes away. Just that.

SPEAKER_01

I don't know why that's an issue. I just don't, I don't know. I just automatically do it. Can you see any of my clothes around? See Ian's clothes around because he doesn't put things away either. See, it's always is this how these couples work? Yes, yeah. We get together to annoy each other so that life is interesting. Exactly. That's brilliant. I forgot what the question was now. It was what's something you need help with? So you need some help with some clo hanging your clothes up, organization and cleaning your house. Yes. Maybe you need another cleaner.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, I probably do. That's probably what I need because I hate cleaning. It is about it's about like playing to your strength. And I really, I really just I don't I don't like it. It's thankless, it makes me angry.

SPEAKER_01

I don't like it. I don't I don't mind it actually, but I don't like it if people are in the house. I like to do the cleaning on a Saturday when Ian's gone to work, when Rosie's at the stables, when Charlie's cleaning cars, I can blitz the house, I can do a really good job very quickly, no one gets in my way, but then I don't want people to come back in and mess it up because they do immediately.

SPEAKER_00

Immediately. That's why it's so thankless. I don't like to waste a Saturday on cleaning. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01

I know it is a bit of a chore to be called.

SPEAKER_00

I just like, yeah, somebody whose job it is, who's professional and who's good at it, and I can pay them to do it.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. Although it's finding someone that does it well is half the issue, isn't it?

SPEAKER_00

With I mean, it is half that again. I think I let that go a long time because I was just grateful that someone else was doing it, it wasn't me. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01

What about you? So something I need help with. This has been going on now for a bit like you with your business in organization. So last year in August, I found someone to help me with the tech side of my business because it's quite complex. Because I've got an e-commerce shop and I need to be able to link things up, plus, you've got all the um

Tech Stress And Business Support

SPEAKER_01

legislation around people's data, etc. So it has to be. So I thought I'd found someone that could connect all these things up for me. We're still I've now got to the point where I've had to remove this person to have access from anything. They still I've paid them and they still hadn't done the job. But now I've got potentially someone else who can step in and is helping me. But you know, that tech side in business is not one of my strengths at all, and it's such a struggle to do that stuff. But as a business owner, you're expected to be able to do all of these things when it's your business, it's everything, isn't it? I had a problem with haven't been able to post post on social media. I don't know if if you'd noticed, um, because I had an error message come up constantly that I didn't know what it was. And so that tech side of it is is one of the things that yeah, is I just need constant help with, and it's just so frustrating because feel your pain. Because I can't even fathom it out myself. Like most things, I can go, right, okay, sit down, work it out yourself, but it's just I just don't understand how it all connects together. I just don't understand it, and then it's the the people that this person needs to speak to that person, and they have to come back to me, and then I have to tell that person to go back to that person, it's just like does my head in.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, no, I totally get that. And I mean, I I don't know about you, but it's boring to me, it's complicated, isn't it? Like I want something physical, like when Jonathan talks about things within um the website, and he talks about like a back room or uh, you know, where this page is or where that I like I wanted I want physical things, I can't I can't deal with it. It's I honestly I feel your pain with that, and life's like busy enough, like life admin, all that stuff is busy enough to then have to deal with that on top, yeah, and have and there be no joy in there.

SPEAKER_01

No, there's no joy, is there? And when you're and when you're trying to play to your strengths, and I recognise where my strengths lie in my business, yeah. I need to find the people, and when you think you've found someone and then I let you down so badly, and you've paid them, it's so gutting, and you still like it's nearly a year. This is August last year, it's still it's nearly a year, and this still has not been sorted out.

SPEAKER_00

So annoying. Why don't people just do their jobs? Just do your job. One job is it that annoys me. My sister is, I'm sure she won't mind me saying this, is a magnet for terrible traders. Oh, really? Really, with the hopefully possible exception of the two people that are working in her garden at the moment because they seem to be doing a blinding job. But yeah, she's have what she had one guy that was supposed to put down these gorgeous porcelain floor tiles, floor tiles outside, pavement paving slabs, yes, whatever the ones out, you know, with the sunshine. Uh did an absolutely shocking, shocking job. What a shame. Just put them together like normal ones, whereas you're supposed to do something special with the porcelain. Um, like when she had her love converted, it was just it was you can't believe the amount of shit jobs that people have done. And you're like, you trust there's a lot of emotion, you there's a lot of money, there's a lot of time, there's a lot of effort goes into these things, and then they just they just let you down, and it's so yeah, it's it's so hard.

SPEAKER_01

I feel like we should have done these questions in reverse so we finished on the biggest win. On the biggest win, but we've now gone on a downer. But the whole point of this is to just be able to open up a bit more conversation, I think. Yeah. So asking the people around you what's been your biggest recent win, what's been your biggest recent challenge, and what's something you need help with?

SPEAKER_00

I think these would be nice

Make The Questions A Weekly Habit

SPEAKER_00

on a but is there a day that you regularly all get together as a family and eat? I mean, like hopefully that happens every day, but with people like these kids are out working and clubs and God knows what. Is there a day or a morning, maybe a Saturday brunch or something, and you get to all reflect over the week that's just gone. And I think it'd be really it's like it's nice to know what people's challenges and what people consider are their their wins, like what's happened through the week. But it's also like being able to say things out loud and and like air these things just helps so much. I was talking to somebody, see, I said this to you earlier on. I remember the conversation vaguely. I have no idea who it was I was talking to or where we were, but they were saying that um if you if you're in a room full of people and everybody put their problems into the middle of the room, you'd soon be reaching for your own problems back again when you start here, yeah, like what everybody else is going through, and you think that whatever you're going through is the the worst thing in the world, and you start to hear what everyone else is dealing with, and you're like, oh no, okay, I'll have my problem back. Thanks. That's quite interesting. Interesting, yeah, yeah. But now I think they would be really nice questions to actually don't leave it for a big event, like ask them regularly.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, yeah, absolutely. So let us know how you get on with those questions. We'll post them, shall we, in the Facebook group. Yeah, let's do that. Yeah, and if you're not in the Facebook group, just search Far Too Fabulous and come and join us. Here here.

SPEAKER_00

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SPEAKER_01

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SPEAKER_00

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SPEAKER_01

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SPEAKER_00

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