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Far 2 Fabulous
Join Catherine & Julie, your feisty hosts at Far 2 Fabulous, as they lead you on a wellness revolution to embrace your fabulousness.
Julie, a Registered Nutritional Therapist with over 20 years of expertise, and Catherine, a former nurse turned Pilates Instructor and Vitality Coach, blend wisdom and laughter seamlessly.
Off the air, catch them harmonising in their local choir and dancing to 80's hits in superhero attire. Catherine braves the sea for year-round swims, while Julie flips and tumbles in ongoing gymnastics escapades.
With a shared passion for women's health and well-being, they bring you an engaging exploration of health, life, and laughter. Join us on this adventure toward a more fabulous and empowered you!
Far 2 Fabulous
When Life Stops Overnight: Maddy Harland’s Journey From Stage to Stillness
Episode 99: When Life Stops Overnight. Maddie Harland’s Journey From Stage to Stillness.
What happens when the show must go on collides with a diagnosis that stops everything? We sit down with Maddy Haaland—once a West End performer, now an acupuncturist and coach in Whitstable—to trace a life that moved from bright lights to deep healing without losing its song. Her story begins with ballet dreams, shifts into musical theatre, and confronts the pressure most audiences never see: relentless auditions, constant feedback, and the quiet toll of perfectionism. Then comes stage four lymphoma on press night—exhaustion, insomnia, a burning itch no lotion could soothe—and a startling feeling of relief when the fear finally had a name.
From treatment and clinical trials to a reimagined identity, Maddy shares the moment her ambition changed shape and why gentleness became non‑negotiable. We explore how acupuncture helped her regulate a jangled nervous system, sleep again, and build a practice that invites calm: heated blankets, soft music, and a conversation that treats the whole person. She explains meridians and qi in clear, practical terms—pain as stagnation, needles as a way to restore flow—and why clients who arrive for tennis elbow or menopause insomnia often leave with something larger: permission to feel safe, connected, and at home in their own bodies.
We also dive into survivorship anxiety, the persistent undertow of waiting for results, and the unspoken shame many carry about being unwell. Maddy’s new coaching group creates room for messy truth and mutual understanding, while her ChiChiFit classes bring back the joy of movement—show tunes, sweat, no mirrors, all welcome. It’s a portrait of life after crisis that honours both grief and delight, trading hustle for presence and finding tribe along the way.
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We look forward to you joining us on the next episode.
Hello, hello, and welcome to the Far Too Fabulous Podcast. We should harmonize. Oh, this is gonna be a whole new one.
SPEAKER_02:You are a soprano one and I am a soprano two, so we could do that. Let's talk that out.
SPEAKER_01:Let's see, we've already gone on a tangent. We've got already. And we're not even behaving ourselves. And we have a fabulous guest with us today. We have got Maddie Haaland with us, who I mean, I I was gonna just introduce you as a as an acupuncturist, but I think that that doesn't that just doesn't even scratch the surface. We've met through Business Women Unlimited, which is a female networking group that I run in Witchdraw, and I was honoured to have you there with us and just really pleased for the introduction. And I know that you tweet lots of friends of mine, and they are very, very happy with you. There was been collaborations with oh god, the menopause brain is kicking in already. So we need to talk about that as well. And with Janine at Pure.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:So there's so many overlaps. So thank you, thank you for joining us. Will you just tell us who you are, who you are, and where you came from?
SPEAKER_00:Who you are and where'd you come from? I'm Maddy. I'm from Liverpool.
SPEAKER_01:I see your accent's much better for that. You could give you could do the Scylla.
SPEAKER_00:Oh, it is, yeah, yeah. Oh, I used to love Sylla Black. That's my childhood, that much and all that. Um yeah, so I was born in Liverpool and I left home when I was 16 originally to be a ballet dancer. That was my focused plan. And then I didn't get into ballet school, so I got into I got into like the finals for the Royal Ballet School and English National, and then I didn't get in. Um and I was just completely devastated because I really was set, my heart was set on being a ballet dancer, and musical theatre was sort of my plan B, and then sort of, you know, with hindsight, I haven't got the right personality of a ballet dancer. You know, I don't I I don't like to be like everyone else. No, I didn't fit, but I loved the perfectionism of it all and the sort of beauty of ballet, you know. It was, I just was obsessed with that, so I really wanted to be that person, and I really wasn't.
SPEAKER_01:Um I I think it sounds like the sounds like the ballet world needed you anyway. Have you seen that picture when you've got like three little girls all perfectly doing their ballet moves, and then you've got one little girl hanging upside down off of the off of the bar. Yeah, yeah. I think where you'd have been. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah. So um musical theatre was like my plan B because I was adamant that I was leaving home when I was 16. I was like, oh, it wasn't in my plan to sort of stay and do A levels, and I hated school and all of that. So I was just like, I'm going to London. So then I got into musical theatre college and yeah, did a three-year musical theatre course, and yeah, it was really hard. You know, very hard. But you learn a lot. It was I look back and I'm like 16, was very young to leave home, very young, you know, I was still a child, really, and then just sort of on my own in London, um, go quite quickly, I think, and you know, look after yourself a lot, which you sort of don't realize till you're older when you look back and you're like, you know, like my nephew's 14, nearly 15, and I'm like, God, he's the age that I, you know, nearly the age that I was when I moved, so that was interesting, but I did love it, and I just you know, really wanted, I always wanted to be on the stage, so I just yeah, I loved it. And then I left college when I was 19, had a bit of a crisis. I was like, I don't want to do it anymore, I want to move to Australia. Um I think it was a reaction to just like all the pressure, you know, the pressure from that as a career, and also the pressure from yourself because it's a lot. I put a lot of pressure on myself and a lot less now, but I used to a lot more. And um, and then I I remember like my one of my first auditions was for a Disney cruise, and it was like step touch, and it was really it was like the simplest choreography. So I was like giving it full on, and I got caught straight away in the first round. So I was just like, Are you kidding me? You know, uh what you know, what the hell? And then my next audition was like Cat's the musical, and that was my dream job, and I got it. Yeah, and I didn't have an agent, and it was so it was like my whole life I'd watched the cat's DVD, you know, and I was just obsessed with it, and then that's my first job, so I couldn't believe it. I was like, oh my god, um yeah, and then was sort of lucky enough to work for nearly 15 years doing like Western shows generally, um, as a performer, so yeah, it's amazing, isn't it? Cats is your first job. I loved Cats. I know. Do you know what? It's actually better to be in than to watch. That sounds so like, oh, it's so much better to be in, but it actually is. Do you know what I mean? Sometimes I watch that shit, you know, we used to watch it and be like, it's all right, but when you're in it, it was really amazing because there was just you were always on stage, and there are on a lot of shows that you're actually on stage the whole time. Yeah. So I like that was the best ever first job because it was so hard as well. That's yeah.
SPEAKER_01:So when you said about when you were talking about your your training, and now and I'm thinking musical theatre school for three years sounds like heaven, right? Yeah to me. Singing and dancing, and somebody actually teaching me how to do it rather than the haphazard way that I do it, sounds amazing. And then you said, and it was really hard.
SPEAKER_00:Oh my god, yeah.
SPEAKER_01:And you also said that a lot of the pressure was probably from you. What was what was the hard bits about it?
SPEAKER_00:Oh god, I mean I suppose we only see the sort of the fun side, you know, with like X Factor, or I don't know, it's so different to what it was, you know, when I was 16. It's very, you know, you do ballet every morning at nine o'clock, then you do jazz, you do modern, you do singing, you do drama. It was you'd have rehearsals, you'd be auditioning for shows, you'd have choreographers come in all the time, you'd get feedback, you you'd be told that you ain't very good, you know. I got pulled into the office in second year, and me and my best friend Nadia, and we were both told, you know, you need to pull your socks up or you're it's not gonna go well. You know, we were like hysterical, balling our eyes out in the office. Like, and it's as an industry, it's a high-pressured industry. It's a there's a lot of people that want to do their job if you're lucky enough to get to to work on the west, you know, there is hundreds of people that can replace you in an instance. So you're always aware of that, I think. Yeah, you're always aware that and I always remember when I got, I used to say before I got my first job, like I do it for free, and that like, yeah, right. But it's uh when you love something so much, you couldn't believe that you'd get paid to do it, you know. So it people do it because they love it, yeah, as well. And I think, and then so when you get paid for it, you're like, oh my god, I can't believe it. There's and so there's a reason why a lot of people want to do it, but it's it's hard and it's mentally very hard. It's not for the faint-hearted, you know, the amount of rejection, it's you know, constant rejection, constantly trying to improve yourself and be on top of your game, yeah, full on.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. And were you supported mentally? Were you supported physically? I'm just thinking about all that exercise you must have done. And if you were 16, 17, were you fueling yourself properly?
SPEAKER_00:I don't suppose I mean I've always, you know, I am a massive eater. I'm a massive food lover, which I think has been it's I just love food, and I'm I'm so it sounds super I'm so thrilled that I love food like in this lifetime. I d and a lot of people, you know, have eating disorders, especially from that come from a ballet background. I've always just been really lucky about a really high metabolism, so I could sort of eat what I want and then be thin. I I don't like the word thin, slim, but I again attracted a lot of people that it's quite an easy business to self-sabotage when you you feel not enough, you're not good enough a lot of the time. So people do that with food quite often to sort of, you know, I didn't do it with food, but I did it with self, really negative self-talk and being very like I'll I'm a lot better, but I'm very hard on myself, you know. Uh but I think that got me actually very far because I was constantly trying to be better, but there was no sort of mental health support back then, not like there is now. It was a different time in that way, yeah.
SPEAKER_02:So, how did you end up going from West End Theatre to now, Whitstable acupuncturist?
SPEAKER_00:Um, so I did shows for like 15 years nearly, and I yeah, I got diagnosed with stage four cancer basically, and it was very as drama as dramatic as it sounds. I was um, you know, I I was lucky enough to sort of do some back-to-back shows, which again are people's dream. You just go from like one contract to another. I'd have like a little break in the middle so I could go on holiday, just things like that. That is is a very like privileged position to be in, you know, when you've got a job lined up and you're like, wait, I've got four weeks off, I'm gonna go to Australia. But I was starting to just feel like completely exhausted. And um my dad was suffering, you know, he's he's passed away now, but he had a lot of um very challenging mental health problems, and I ended up sort of taking on a role as a carer for him because I lived down the road from him, and uh that's a that's a whole other podcast, but it all sort of coincided with me putting a lot of my energy into him, and you know, like it's you know, I'd I'd be I had to section him twice, like on my own. And I look back, and at the time I was like, Yeah, yeah, it's fine, but I look back and I'm like, whoa, that's such a lot. Um massive trauma, isn't it? Yeah, and I was doing eight shows a week, and then because it was Matilda, you know, there's three catch changes a year, so you're like constantly in rehearsals, which and it was a fantastic show, like I totally loved it, but it was a lot of a lot of pressure, and um so I sort of did that, and then I finished that show, had a little break between that. Oh no, do you know what? But I think it was that show, then it was another show, then I had a little break between that and a really short show called Sweeney Todd I was doing at the English National Opera, and in that like six-week break, I just felt rough and I just didn't feel better, and I was like, something doesn't feel right. Like usually I'd have a bit of energy by now. It was a very it was strange, I'd stopped sleeping, you know, I'd always slept well, and then had these like tiny lumps in my neck, and then got this like horrendous itching that I just indescribable itching. It wasn't just like, oh, you know, like when you're allergic to something or you've got like a funny detergent, it was this burning itching like coming from within that nothing would soothe. I used to like get the hairbrush out and just be brushing my skin. I can't, it was, and then you feel like go mad because I'm like, oh my god, what is wrong with that? For me, it was so weird. And I'd been to the hospital. I mean, this is yeah, I mean, I've been to the hospital the year before with like um lots of stomach problems and acid, and and then they'd done loads of tests, and they this baby patronizing specialist who was about to retire, sat me down, and he was like, There's nothing wrong with you, you know, all the tests are back, your bloods are fine, you you're in a very stressful, you know, um job and you're fine. So I was sort of sent away the year before, but that's because I mean lymphoma is very hard to diagnose. So by the time I've got my scam, and because my referral was lost, I didn't get my scam for three months after I'd been to the GP. So all these things happened. And then by the time I got and sort of went to the GP, she was like, Oh yeah, we think you've got like lymphoma. And I was like, What? From nowhere. I was in the GP on my own again. She's like, Oh yeah, we think you've got leaning towards lymphoma, and said it like that. I have written a comedy song about it very, very quickly. Hospital scan, but I just started Sweeney Todd, and the whole job was like six weeks. So I don't know how I managed it. I still went to rehearsals, went for all my tests and scans, and didn't tell anyone. And it was the only job I've ever done that, like the ensemble didn't do a lot at all. I somehow managed to keep the job, and I was understudy in the leads, who um who was actually Rosalie Craig, who's just been invite women, she's just phenomenal, but she was a beggar woman. I was there under study, and it's the only time I've understudied, and I didn't really know it, knew it, but I I was like, please, please don't let me go, please don't go off because I you know, and that's because like I wasn't sleeping because I was literally riddled with like cancer and didn't know. So it was all yeah, and then I got diagnosed on press night with like stage four, and it was only I wanna I don't it wasn't only obviously stage four is there was no stage five, but because of the type of cancer, if it's it's like how because I reacted well to the treatment, it was curable, if that makes sense. So yeah, and she was like, Well, if it was another type of cancer, you'd be dead if it was more aggressive type, like three months, those three months that you'd lost your the referral, she was like, Because it's so slow growing, and because they wanted to start chemo on my last week of shows, and I was like, Can I not she was like, Oh, we treat the fingers in the lunch break, it's totally fine. And I was like, Well, can I start the week after? Because I don't really want to try and have chemo in my lunch break, and then I said, you know, what what difference will a week make? And she was like, No, not really. Are you you're so far gone? Like, what's a week gonna make? Um, what's a week gonna be? So, um you know, again, with hindsight, the NHS loved to sort of normalize things and be like, Oh, you're fine, and the you know, first chemo, you're just absolutely wrecked. You couldn't just pop back to rehearsals and sing for the rest of the day. Yeah, so yeah, that was sort of that, and then yeah. How old were you then, Maddy?
SPEAKER_02:How old were you when this happened?
SPEAKER_00:32. Yeah, and then I and then it's sort of like it sounds so dramatic, but my ambition dies. Like when I got diagnosed, it was like a a switch, and everything just sort of like changed.
SPEAKER_02:What in terms of your priorities and your perspective and outlook, or what what do you mean?
SPEAKER_00:Something fundamental in me changed, like my ambitions, my sort of drive and my like bloody-mindedness and all of that. I just had this real, it's uh again, I don't want to sound odd, but I had health anxiety from my whole life, you know, being a real health worrier. My mom is, my grand was, you know, there's a lot of health stuff, and then so you sort of when you sort of worry about something and then you actually are told it, there's like there, you know, what's worse than sort of health-wise being told you've got stage four cancer, but I actually felt relieved. It was, I just this this sort of weight was lifted, I think, probably from knowing what it was, because that the the not knowing I would say is worse than the knowing, even if the knowing is just horrendous, you know, and there's something that your brain can be like, right, okay, what are we gonna do now? Rather than this unknown can just be so overwhelming, I reckon. So it was strangely liberating, and it also I was so wrecked that I was really pleased to have six months off. And that and that again, that sounds awful at now. I'm like, my god, like where come yourself into such a state that the only thing that you'd stop for is like a stage four cancer diagnosis, you know. So quite a lot I look back and I'm like, well, yeah, traumatized. Um yeah, so I think that's what changed really, and I just didn't I I didn't sort of consciously like leave the business in a way, but I I think I was also really scared to go back because I think part of me probably thought, is that what made me sick? But then I also acknowledge the part of me that's like it might have also saved your life, you know. So um, but having those two things has like taken quite a long time to process, I guess. But yeah, I just didn't want to go back to the way that I didn't I felt like I changed a lot from be from being sick, and I didn't want to go back to old the old me because I felt like I'd changed so much, if that makes sense.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, yeah, it does. So did you did you go back and do musical theatre at all after your treatment?
SPEAKER_00:I did one show that wasn't a good show, and I also like that it wasn't a great experience, so I think that was quite a negative one to go back to. And then after that, I was just yeah, I did audition for some shows, but it just didn't feel like heart wasn't in it. Yeah, just it changed. Like I don't love the business any less. I really miss elements of it, and that's the hard bit. Like, I miss being in a show, like that feeling of walking through stage door and everyone's quirky, everyone it's a really unusual environment, you know, and I really miss that feeling of like belonging because I'd feel normal, you know, when you when you sort of walk into stage door, I'd be like, Oh, this is like I feel ordinary here, whereas I don't feel ordinary in the world, I feel like different, you know. So stuff like that I miss. Um, and then I don't miss the HOs a week, I don't miss the the slog, the constant hustle, the how competitive it is, and you know, but I really miss a big part of it. So yeah, both.
SPEAKER_02:So once you'd kind of got through this time, did you then start looking at obviously you were looking at what you were doing for your job, which changed, but also with regards to your health and supporting your health in a different way, when did that come about? Because obviously having cancer and going through chemo very medicalized compared to what you do now, which is supporting the whole body and helping the energy shift.
SPEAKER_00:I um so I'd always been a massage therapist as well. I trained that in my early 20s to be a massage therapist because I I'd always been interested by the body and find it fascinating. And I think just from being uh obsessed with ballet from a young age, it's like, yeah, the body, I don't know, is fascinating. So I don't so I had trained in my early 20s and I always ended up doing like massage in the cast in the shows that I was in as well. So I'd come in early and might do some massages and then do the show, and then as sort of time went on, I didn't want to massage as much because it's quite physical, but then I found like acupuncture is so effective, and all you do is put these little pins in people, and you don't, you know, it's not as sort of rigorous as massage, and like I still do facial massage, which I love, but it's very calm, it's not as intense as massage, so I really wanted to, I really wanted something that was calming, and I find acupuncture very calming, you know, for me and also for clients, it's just there's a lot of energy moving around, but it's it's gentle, and I think I I was looking for more of the gentle, you know. I spent a long time in a very sort of yang, as we say in um traditional Chinese medicine, like yang is like loud and it's very dynamic, and I think that's what theatre is, which I love, but I think it was like I was so depleted that I had the yin, the soft, the gentle, you know, the bit by bit, you know. I I missed a lot of that, I think, in my life. So it was like now I realize and I was trying to catch up with that or the part that I'd not really tended to.
SPEAKER_02:How did you come across acupuncture? What did you have treatment and then you really loved it, or what happened there?
SPEAKER_00:When I had chemo, there was a reflexologist who used to come to the ward and give us reflexology while we were having it, and that like really, really helped me. Um so that was so I was always fascinated by that. And yeah, then I started to have an acupuncture myself and again just found it so calming. Like I can get quite in my head and a bit like excitable and like you know, a bit up there. And I always found after acupuncture, like my voice was so much lower. Sounds strange, but you know, because I was like in my body, and that's what I love is like puts you back into your body, you know, wherever you are. And it, you know, people, you know, people are stressed, aren't they? It's it's just part of life, you know. And what I love about acupuncture is like the client after it, before and after, and before they're like, I've got this and this and blah-da-da-da. And usually there's like a lot, you know, going on, and then afterwards, it's like calm. And I think, and I have both parts in me. I've got like the quite, you know, the very sort of animated part, and I also have a very calming part. So I think that's why I love acupuncture, because it's really calming for me and the client.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. When you said that, it made that made me think about when I go into the sea and like I'm with a I'm with a group of bubble tits, and we're all like blah blah blah blah blah blah, and we're all nattering, and it's just yeah, hyper hyper. And then we we kind of we we do squeal our way into the sea, but then once that cold hits you, everything is just like oh, and then we kind of we walk back out of the sea, all just yeah, lovely and calm and serene.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, it's like your nervous system's just had a a reset, and you know, then your brain doesn't go because your your brain is like constantly trying to make meaning of everything, right? So then when you're back in your body a bit in your karma, your brain's like it feels you know, for me anyway, it's like okay, cool. But it's not as you know crazy, you know. So and I love Cold War Sermon as well for that reason. There's nothing quite like it. That and acupuncture are the two things that really ground for me big time.
SPEAKER_02:So yeah, I had this amazing acupuncturist in London, he was uh incredible, and that sort of yeah, I just got into it and then enough to train and become an acupuncturist.
SPEAKER_00:So I started training before COVID, and then it sort of the final exam was like in the middle of COVID, and I had to wear like a mask and a a plastic apron, and it really hot and it was a lot. That's why I remember that. Um yeah, and the and the sort of the learning was so hard because I've not I've not studied for years, so it was hard, my poor partner. Like she made me like little study cards, and yeah, learning's not wasn't it was not easy because it's just like a foreign language, isn't it? Something completely different. So I was um yeah, it was challenging, but it's one of those things. It's so sometimes when it's so hard, you know. But then at the end, you're like, I'm so glad that I just stayed with it. It's easy to give up, right? But again, it's my bloody-mindedness of like, no, I will carry on, and you know, it's like the resilience I'd built through sort of performing, I think, you know, but there were it's still it's still there when it needs to mean there was a lot of tears, there was a lot of what am I doing? You know, but that's again, I think that's just part of life, right? When you try trying to do something new, it's it's not as easy as everyone, I don't know, what we're sort of taught to believe, you know, or what we see on social media of fine new things. I think people don't talk enough about the hard bit.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Can you give for anybody that doesn't know, I mean, I'm sure they've come across acupuncture at some point, but can you give us a a general overview of of like what it is, how it works, and then how how you use it?
SPEAKER_00:It's traditional Chinese medicine, so it's sort of thousands of years old. And the premise is we have these meridians running through our body, these 12 meridians, and we have lots of these acupuncture points on our body connected to different organs connecting to each other, and basically, if if you have pain, that's like a stagnation of qi. So this qi is this life force, this energy that runs through our body, you know, it's how we're alive. And if there is pain, that will be like a stagnation of the qi. So, you know, if you come to me with like tennis elbow, you've got a lot of pain, and I'll needle around it, so that will release the stagnant qi, the energy, and it will just get the qi sort of free-flowing again. That's quite a simple way of sort of saying it. And yeah, it's just more of a if you think about all this energy in your body, these energy meridians and lines and organs, and I'm trying to unblock, you know.
SPEAKER_02:So if you have so out the traffic jams, I suppose, aren't you?
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, exactly. We have like internal stress and external stress. So, like an external stressor could be you're sat on a traffic jam and you're really fucked up about it, you know, and then the internal stress is someone died in your family, you know, there is there's some trauma going on, so that's your internal stress, which then affects your body, you know, affects your organs, heart, brain, things like that. Or if you have a cold, you have flu, that'll affect your lung, you know, it's sort of, but a lot of it is within and without, so then you'll but then you might catch a cold because you've just seen someone who's got a cold, but then you might have also have a an imbalance in your body that makes you more susceptible to the cold. So there's sort of a lot of factors really, but I guess what it is trying to do is put your body into sort of homeostasis, so it's like a a place that it can heal. And I'm really passionate about that. Like I I love people, I've always loved people. So I love learning about people. I love it when people come and tell me all about their lives. I think it I think people need to feel that there's a space that they can heal, that they feel safe enough. So, you know, I've got my heated blanket and people and I play this really lovely sort of cellular healing music and stuff. You want to put the pair, you want to make the client feel at ease. So they sort, you know, you know, like when you feel like when your body feels safe and you take a breath and you like shoulders go down and you feel like, oh, I'm relaxed, and then that's a really lovely place to start for me. And then the more that what I've noticed is like my regular clients, it's sort of if I remind them of like who they were when they came, you know, with this very specific problem, you know, it's this, it's menopause, or I've got a bad foot. And then, you know, fast forward six months or a year, they're like, Oh, it was nothing about it, wasn't to do with that at all. One of my clients who, you know, who's been coming up to me for a few years, said to me, you know, I I've just started wearing skirts and I'm not worn a skirt since I was eight. Stuff like that, that you're like these like profound changes, and that might just sound a bit weird that you're like, oh, you're wearing skirt, but it's a that really like warms my heart. Like it sort of, I would say it sort of brings you back to yourself.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. And there was obviously a big block somewhere that you've released that's allowed her to be able to do this. I think that what you're talking about, that that intuition that you work with is definitely what I've experienced through acupuncture. I I had it for acute anxiety, and it was the most amazing thing. It just literally turned me off. It was like that that needle got put into my third eye, and I literally just witched off. It was like powering me down, and it was not something I ever experienced at that like during that time at any other point, maybe slightly through exercise, but obviously I was moving around lots, whereas just laying still. And what you just said about it always being something else was exactly what happened to me. I remember like going through the initial consultation and and I'd we weren't even talking about, I don't know what what we were talking about. Like I, you know, I thought it was like health and fitness and all that sort of stuff. And I'd said something about money, and she looked at me and she went, Well, how do you how do you feel about money? She's like, and I I kind of was like, What why are we why are we talking about money? What's what's this got to do with anything? Yeah. And she just like intuitive words. Intuitively, there we go. I think I'm gonna put my teeth back up and reboot my menopause brain. She knew that that was what the what the block was. It was a It was a money block, it wasn't anything else, and and and it was around shame. I was I was ashamed that I like money, and it was something I mean, one does not say that, does one?
SPEAKER_00:Well, it can be quite a shameful statement, can't it? If you think about it, why should you want more as a woman and you know stay small and all of that? That messaging we get.
SPEAKER_01:Exactly. And I was totally I was blown away. I mean, I was literally my mouth fell open, much like it did while you were telling us all about your about your health and your diagnosis story, and my jaw is like on the floor. So it's just it's an incredible, like when you marry up this this amazing skill with your intuition, it's yeah, it's just incredible.
SPEAKER_00:And I'm sort of I'm one of the um people like tell me a lot about themselves. It's sort of and I don't I don't ask, it's just we went out with uh went out with my partner's friends and we went to like a pub and Elaine went to the loo and then somehow her friend was like, Oh yeah, because I was in the army and da da da. And I was like, Oh, did you know that he was in the army? She's like, No, you know, it's not like that. So it's not, it's just uh I don't know why, but people sort of seem to tell me stuff, you know. But I think that's quite a lot of people. In a in an environment that that you're you know, that you want to heal. I think that's a good thing as well, that people feel that they can just like open up.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, I get the same with my job actually. Yeah, I get told sometimes people will say, I've never said that to anyone before. So it's yeah, it's very humbling when you get that you you've allowed that person and they feel safe enough to tell you things that they've not told anybody else.
SPEAKER_00:So yeah, it's quite a privilege, isn't it?
SPEAKER_02:It is, yeah, absolutely. How is your health now? Are you all out the other side of all of that?
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, I mean to be honest, I've not had a scan for years. Oh no, that's not true. I did have I did have a scan a year ago, but that was just for something else. But I think it's always a bit scary because you don't, you know, when you're having treatment and you get scanned, because I was on a clinical trial as well, I was scanned constantly, but I really enjoyed that because I was like I knew that I was being looked at very closely and monitored, and that actually really reassured me. But I think now that's what happens the longer that you're sort of on the other side, you're not monitored, so it's sort of always a bit of a a bit of a worry, I would say.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, I suppose it never goes away, does it? It's always gonna be in the background.
SPEAKER_00:And I've got quite a lot of clients who actually quite a lot of people who've had cancer and stuff, and you know, they're they all say the same thing, and they're just like, oh, it's that anxiety and or going for a scan and waiting for the results, and it doesn't go away, like that terror, that absolute terror of like waiting. And I think you'd think it would, but it doesn't. You know, I would say it the terror comes a lot less, but it's still as scary when it when it decides to descend in whatever way that will be, you know, call to the doctor or waiting for something or a pain in your shoulder or anything like that. So yeah.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, I'm sure it's understandable. Do you find that you end up helping people that have that have got cancer or have come out the other side or just going through it? Do you actively work with cancer people or do you just find that they come to you?
SPEAKER_00:I I I do work so people come to see me who have had cancer. And I've also just started um a coaching group for people who've had cancer as well. Um again, uh something I'd always wanted to do. You know, my my loves are also like comedy, well-being. So I'd always wanted to, I'd always wanted to help people who'd sort of had cancer as well. And I'm quite, I don't know, I think I bring a lightness to it, you know, that people are quite well, people don't love talking about it. It's quite a shamey that you were saying, it's quite a shamed environment, I would say. You know, you don't realise that, you know, I I had our first session group coaching the other day, and and I realised this this the shame that I still carry that I was sick, and you know, other people have it as well. It there's almost like uh you've somehow failed a bit because you got sick. So and I think it it it's so hard to describe to someone who hasn't had it, and I don't mean that to sound like oh, so you don't it's not, it's like it's so hard to convey how it feels, but when you're in a group and you've all had it, you could be like, oh my god, yeah, say me too, me too, God, that's what the overwhelm, and you know, I saw myself in the woman, and we talked about overwhelm, and I was like, Oh my god, like I see it, I get it. I and I really so it's healing for me as well, you know, just to hear that the stories, but it's a very it can be a very lonely place, I think. So when you when you can connect with people about it, yeah, you know, I I I would just love to help people feel less alone because you you have, I don't know, your survivor's guilt as well. So my best friend Nadia, who I went to college with, she died uh when she was 38 of breast cancer. She was diagnosed a few years after me, and um she died and she's got two kids. And I think for people that are still alive, you have a you have survivor's guilt, and then when you you feel like you're not living your best life and you're not having a great day, you're having a really bad month, or you're just having a shit time, there is that voice like, well, why are you alive? Why, you know, if Nadia was alive, she'd be having you know, there's all of that that goes on that I think people don't really realise because I think they think, Oh, you're alive, you're great, you look well, great, let's carry on. You know, and it's it's not really as simple as that. It's like if you could if you could see, you know, if you could see people's insides, it'd be very different, wouldn't it? And what we sort of uh show to the world can be very different to what is going on. So yeah, I don't I went off on a bit of a tangent then, but I'm really I feel really strongly about that and sort of, yeah, just like I get it. That's all you want to be like I get it, yeah.
SPEAKER_01:We're here for tangents always.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, but yeah.
SPEAKER_01:I think that that's I think that's a really that's a really important tangent. So interesting that you that there was a there's like an element of shame or blame to being ill, and I think very typical of women, yeah, that we will keep it to ourselves. I mean, heaven forbid we complain that we don't feel very well. Like, I mean, you carried on an entire West End show what I know, yeah. I'm fine, I'm fine. Prime example of it, yes, exactly. Modern society, we are not set up for our female tribes. In fact, we are almost alienated from it. And I do I do feel like the tide is turning back on that, and that we are coming back together as women in tribes and talking about things because this is what we do best, isn't it? Just like getting this off our chest and we don't do it enough. Reclaim the witches, I say. Yeah, hell yeah. And yeah, and then you get into those conversations and you go, Oh yeah, me too. Yeah, I felt that, and that affirming just feeling that you were not the only weird one that experienced that is it's so powerful.
SPEAKER_00:I think all we're we're really looking for is connection, right? So in what whatever way, you know, but connection is very powerful, human connection is very, very powerful.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, and it has to start with what you're doing with the acupuncture and the connecting to yourself. Exactly. Yeah, it has to start there.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, you're right. Yeah, a lot of people are disconnected within themselves, aren't they?
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, so how can you possibly love and accept another human being when you think that you are a part of shit?
SPEAKER_00:And I think like I'm I find social media quite challenging because I'm so um, you know, if I look at all my chauffeurs mates and like what shows they're in, so I can I can fall down I can go down quite a negative path quite easily. So um I am aware that when I do that I feel crap about myself and then da da da rather than some of it, it's very hard to keep disciplined with social media and be like, right, I'm only checking it because it's addictive, right? So I find that really hard, very challenging.
SPEAKER_01:On reflection, or just to just to just to flip that though, what do you think that people that you were in shows with however many years ago you were in shows with that are now looking at your lifestyle, if they're still doing that, but they're still like banging the floorboards, yeah, and you are swimming in Whitstable and doing acupuncture, and they're like, Oh, I wish I was doing that.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, but I think we all do that, don't we? We all do that, it's such a human trait to always think that someone else's life is better than yours. And I think that's what I mean. If we were all a bit more honest, we'd be like, you know, I love it when people are oh god, I'm having a shit time. I'm like, Oh, tell me everything, you know. I like that because it's real. I like real. I can't be dealing with I don't know, it's like when you've been through a lot, you don't have time for the superficial, yeah. It's like tell me what's going on.
SPEAKER_01:Let's just get down to it.
SPEAKER_00:Let's get down to it. Go.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, I love it. How did you end up in Witzerball? Oh, I was gonna ask, I was thinking we need to wind up, don't we? But I was like, we don't know how she came from London to Witsterburne.
SPEAKER_00:I need to know. So I used I think my mum found it years ago. So when I got diagnosed, we came and stayed at the Marine, and then so I would just come for like weekends and stuff, but then I nearly bought when I was diagnosed, I nearly randomly bought a house here. It's like I want to move to the beach, it was like a real I think it was I was just like traumatized and house hunting. Um so I nearly bought a house here 10 years ago and then pulled out the last minute just because it was all a bit, it was all a bit much, and I was a bit like we need to check yourself. You don't really want to be moving in the middle of like your treatment, and I didn't want to be far away from the hospital in tooting that I was cheated at, and they were like amazing and stuff, and then stayed in London for a bit longer, but then the sort of dream never died of like wanting to move here, and so after COVID, I was like, right, yeah, no, I think my words were like I'm not turning 40 in London, no way. So then I made it happen. I was like, right, and then moved just before I turned 40. Amazing, and here you are living living your best life, my best life some days, and other days not, because that's you know that's lying. That's life because you're human, because I'm a human being, and some days my partner's dad always says, like, some days are diamonds, and I'm like, some days are diamonds, and some days really aren't. Some days are a big part of shit. And they are, and more that you can be like, Oh, this is a really shit day, then the chances of you bouncing back to the diamond days a bit better than just trying to like pretend it's all fine all the time.
SPEAKER_01:So, yeah, yeah, it's a slippery slope, that is, definitely.
SPEAKER_00:But yeah, love it here, it's a lot calmer.
SPEAKER_01:It is it is definitely it's definitely that. Um, and we had uh a guest on a few weeks ago, Jo, who was talking about part part of her love was her dancing, and Julie got very excited about what was it, salsa class? No, no, it was Ciroc. Sorok. And I know that you do a a fab fitness class as well.
SPEAKER_00:It's called Chi Chi Fit and it's musical theatre fitness, so it's like zomba, but with show tunes. And do you know what? Oh my god, how do I not know about this? Yeah, come along. What when and where is this? Wednesday mornings opposite Westmead School, so St. Peter's Church House at 9.15 till 10 o'clock, and then Thursday nights are at all St. Whitzball at 8 o'clock till 8.45. So it's it's like a hardcore 45 minutes. And what's what's brilliant is that you don't realise that you're working so hard because it's like fun show moves, but yeah, it's honest to God, like I know that I teach it, but it's a really it really makes me happy. Like before sometimes before class, I can think, oh my god, I don't, you know, you feel tired and a bit like oh, and then always at the end, sure the same with your class, Catherine, like always at the end, I just feel like also swimming, right? You're like, no, and then I just feel so much better. And you know what? It's just like a big group of women from all walks of life, and they love it, and they're just like, and I say, put all your problems on ice for 45 minutes, you know, and let's just enter a chauvers world. Because that's what I always loved about the business is whatever crap is going on, you put on a wig, you put on like you know, a costume, and you just like completely change, enter a new world, you just become a completely different character. And I think that is also what's very like healing about shows and in that world, so yeah, it's fun and it's it's actually hard. But I don't mean that as in the steps are hard because I again I like to sort of create an environment that people feel that they can do anything, it's not about right or long. I said, I'm not, there's no mirrors, which is great because I'm not great with mirrors from years of like obsessing about myself with ballet, but um, you know, I just say to the women, like you're my mirror, I'm your mirror. So they're looking at me having fun and they're having fun, but it's there's no judgment, you can come with two left feet and no one cares, you know. So that's what's nice.
SPEAKER_01:Sounds lots of fun. I love that. I don't although I I often joke about I used to do the um the Nike rock star workout or something, it was another one, long time ago, another one of these fads probably, and and it ran on like a six-week thing. And so for the first two or three weeks, it took me that long to kind of work out what the choreography was for the first week. I think I just spent it on the floor laughing, right? And so then maybe I get a decent workout for like maybe two or three weeks, and then the choreography would change again.
SPEAKER_00:I'd be like, Oh no, so yeah, I mean it's more because the choreographer, it's like zomba in the way that it's so repetitive through the number, so you're not just doing, I don't teach it, we just do it, and actually people seem to make it work, like it works, you know. And again, I'm always like top half, it's not about your feet. And I have women come to me with really bad knees and they don't really move their legs, they just like have a big top half workout, you know. It doesn't matter, doesn't it? It's just the tunes and the love of like love of it, it creates this like amazing atmosphere, you know, that people we allowed to sing along to the tunes. I I encourage it. I um oh yes, I sing out Louise big time myself, and I do encourage it again. You can't hear anyone because of the music, but it's the literally the best thing for your fitness to try and sing and dance at the same time is so hard. Apparently, it's like what Chayda Swift does to um warm up for her arena tours, but um it's the fit, it's incredible how hard it is. So people think it's so easy to just like move and sing, and it's very hard. But then if you start to be able to do that, you you really notice a massive difference in the fitness, so yeah, yeah, absolutely.
SPEAKER_01:I used to when I was training for the triathlon, I used to sing my choir songs in my uh like I had uh the bone conducting headphones, so I could still hear the traffic, safety first, obviously. Um, but cycling away, singing my head off. And that was yeah, it was it was hard, but I think it was it was good because I learned the words and it was good because it helped me with the cycling. Yeah, we're gonna try and uh drag Maddie along to uh choir as well, are we? I think we should. I think she'd love it.
SPEAKER_00:I love singing.
SPEAKER_01:Oh, again, what would you be a soprano, Maddie?
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, we'll bring Maddie to choir, yeah, brilliant, isn't it? Like singing, dancing, art, all of that. I think it was very healing. Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, absolutely. Oh my goodness. So so good. I am one million percent sure that there have been things all the way through this podcast that people have identified with, like all the way through. Ping, ping, ping, ping, ping. So I'm gonna make sure that you are in our far too fabulous Facebook group. And so if there are any listeners that have got comments that this has just really resonated with them, or you want to get in touch with Maddie, then uh then she's gonna be in there, and I'm sure she would love for you to get in contact. If somebody does want to find you, how do they find you on the lovely social media or the worldwide web?
SPEAKER_00:So Instagram, uh maddy.acupuncture. Oh, and underscore coach, because I just added that on. Um that is my that is my Instagram. Yeah, at Facebook, I am on Facebook, Chi Chi Fit with Maddie is my Facebook page, and again, Maddie Acupuncture is my Facebook page as well. That's it, I think. There's probably something I've missed out.
SPEAKER_01:They'll find you, they'll find you. That's fantastic. Thank you. Thank you so much so much for joining us.
SPEAKER_00:Listening to monologue for an hour.
SPEAKER_01:Honestly, I know I'm I'm super nosy, and I'm 100% sure our listeners are too. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, it is all good. Thank you, thank you so much for joining us. And we will uh see you all again, hear you all again next week. Thank you so much for joining us today. We love creating this for you. We'll be back next week with another great episode.
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