Far 2 Fabulous

Fire, Trapeze, And A Midlife Marathon with Louisa McShane

• Julie Clark & Catherine Chapman • Episode 97

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Episode 97: Fire, Trapeze, And A Midlife Marathon with Louisa McShane.

 What happens when you mix marathon grit, firefighter standards, and a fear-conquering leap on the flying trapeze? We invited Louisa to the mic to share how a ten-week sprint to the London Marathon collided with a life-changing bid to join the fire service, and how both journeys reshaped her strength, mindset, and identity in her mid-40s.

We start with the rebuild after Covid, when group classes vanished and habits fell apart. Louisa walks us through rediscovering endurance via Parkrun and run coaching, then saying an unflinching yes to a last-minute charity place. From there, the story shifts to the fire service: a rigorous, gender- and age-agnostic fitness test, a first attempt missed by 15 seconds, and a comeback plan built on brutal specificity. She breaks down how she simulated kit carries, hose drags, and loaded movements in the gym, and why shifting from pure endurance to functional strength flipped the script. Crossing the line at 10:48 wasn’t just a pass; it was proof that systems, not willpower, win.

The surprises keep coming. Circus arts, from aerial silks to flying trapeze, helped Louisa rewrite her relationship with heights, refine mobility, and build powerful grip and core strength that translate to real-world demands. Along the way, she opens up about a late ADHD diagnosis: not a shock, but a profound permission to drop the shame over life admin, recognise the “ADHD tax,” and cultivate a kinder inner voice. Running trained that voice—mile by mile—into a coach instead of a critic. We talk momentum, community, and the joy of sharing gym clips that nudge other women to lift heavy, run long, and take up space.

You’ll come away with practical insights on training for purpose, not perfection; using specificity to prepare for high-stakes work; and reframing midlife as a launchpad, not a slowdown. If this story sparked something, hit follow, share it with a friend who needs a push, and leave a quick review to help others find the show. Then tell us: what bold step are you taking next?

Got a question or comment? Send us a text message here!

Thank you for listening.

You can continue the conversation with us in the Far 2 Fabulous Facebook group. Come and connect with other women on a journey to empowered health.

For more information about Julie Clark Nutrition, click HERE
For more information about Catherine Chapman, click HERE

We look forward to you joining us on the next episode.

SPEAKER_03:

Welcome to Far Too Fabulous, hosted by Julie and Catherine. Join us on a mission to embrace your fabulousness and redefine wellness. Get ready for some feistiness, inspiration, candy chats, and humour as we journey together towards empowered well-being. Let's dive in. Hello, hello, and welcome to this week's episode of the Far Too Fabulous podcast. Now, I don't get to just make Julie laugh for this little bit. We've got a guest today, and they're all around the microphone trying not to laugh. We've got the fabulous Louisa McShow in the hand. And so for you unlucky listeners that don't know who Louisa is, she's I mean, I've got a list of ways I can describe you. I remember you. I was thinking about this earlier on uh last night, actually, when we were thinking about doing this podcast. I remember you from not when we I was not when we were at school because we weren't at school together, but I remember being a teenager in Whitstable and knowing who you were. What? This is news to me. No, no, absolutely. Um Jamie, your husband, and I had friends in common, and I just yeah, I remember I don't know, just knowing who you were, which is which is really funny. And then all good things or bull things like hated that.

SPEAKER_00:

Oh god, what's she gonna say?

SPEAKER_03:

Um, and then we have got the choir in common, we've got cold water swimming. You do that too. I do indeed, yeah. And I think just this well, this obviously this love of fitness, and actually, you have been posting these amazing videos that that motivate me and inspire me, and they're just fantastic, and there's there's so much. I want to talk circus. I definitely want to talk circus. I know, you see, this is this is it. I want to talk fire brigade. I would like to talk about your your new diagnosis you've just you've just claimed. Um, yeah, so just in your own words, tell us who you are, who you are, and where you come from. I have your silla black um your silla black intro, yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

Um so yeah, I'm Louisa, I'm married to Jamie, as you well know. We have four children, two boys, two girls grown up now. So um my eldest is 25, he's off at uni studying medicine. Um, my younger three are 22, 19, and 17 all working. So um, yeah, it's a chaotic house. Um, it's loud, it's chaotic, but it's fabulous. By day I work as what can only be described as a business consultant for Specsavers. So I manage the relationship between the Specsavers Group and 21 stores across Kent, nurturing and helping people thrive in their businesses. It's it's a business with a lot of purpose, you know, about changing lives through better sight and hearing. So it's very ruled in, um, but also very humbling and very inspirational. Um, our company was founded by a lady called Dame Mary Perkins, who is the first UK self-made billionaire. Um so, and still works in the office and is still very present in the business and is phenomenally amazing. Wow. So I didn't know that. That's amazing. Yeah, um, so it's it's very unusual to work for a company that has been as established as Specsavers, but is still family run. Yeah. Um, so yeah, it's very interesting, and it day to day, every day is different. Uh so yeah, that's what I do by day.

SPEAKER_03:

Outside of that, I mean, honestly, I actually don't know. Don't listen, Spect Savers. I have no idea how you have enough time to hold down such an incredible job, and I know that you do a brilliant job. When I went into the store the other week, they and I said your name, they kind of all cooed.

SPEAKER_00:

And it was really, it was really lovely. So it is a fabulous place to work, and there's some fabulous teams out there. It keeps me busy, that's for sure. Yeah. So where I find the time actually, yeah, to pack in everything else is um probably quite some feat. So I am in the gym at least three times a week. I run two or three times a week, I cold water swim where I can, I do flying trapeze, I sing in the choir. Sing in the choir, yeah. I also attend the drill nights as a trainee on call firefighter. I try and be creative where I can, you know, painting things. Painting, yeah, and then in any time I've got left, you know, I'll spend it with uh friends and family.

SPEAKER_02:

I was gonna say, please can you say and then you sleep?

SPEAKER_03:

Because there's some sleep involved.

SPEAKER_04:

In my mind, I honestly, and I mean I'm busy, we were just joking about that, but I'm always on the go. But you I I swear you do twice as much as more hours in my day than anyone else's, I think.

SPEAKER_03:

So the gym, because I'm just I am genuinely loving watching the progression of you in the gym. Which came first? The gym or the fire brigade? Did you start to use the gym to really train for the fire brigade?

SPEAKER_00:

Or yeah, I think my I've always been very active. Yeah, you know, since being a kid, um as a teenager at secondary school, I was in county netball team, I was in the county athletics team, I ran for the county 100 metres, 200 metres was my bag. And I always have been active in whatever it is, you know, when when I had the children throughout my pregnancies and then being young, I still tried to keep some time for myself in regards to Pilates or yoga or something that just gave me that space away from being a very busy mum, but just also kept me physically moving.

SPEAKER_03:

I just have to say that we're not paying these guests to say the right thing. No, we're not. Like Joe in our uh discussion with Joe said all these amazing things, and we're like, yes, this is what we tell everybody every week.

SPEAKER_00:

No, I'd just like everyone to know that there was no prep for this at all. So I did ask you, you couldn't have asked me any specific questions and didn't say anything to me at all. No prep, no payment. Absolutely, no prep, no payment. Um, so yeah, I've always stayed physically active, I've always been a member of the gym, I've always done classes, and I think what impacted me heavily was COVID. So when COVID hit and all the gyms were closed down, I was always motivated by being in a class with other people. Yeah, and when you couldn't do that, I didn't really have the momentum and the motivation to do it on a screen at home, if I'm being honest. There was obviously lots on offer out there to do. I'd go for lots of walks where I could, etc., so I could get myself one out of the house, but equally get some exercise. But I did stack on a load of weight during COVID because I was just more sedentary and I hadn't done all the things that I'd done for so many years beforehand. So as soon as we went back to you know normality. The new normal. The new normal, yes, the bloody new normal, yeah, exactly. I I was back doing what I you know enjoyed the most, keeping active, and continued with my classes. I did park run, I did park bench. Yes, you did, yeah, of course you did. Because even though I'd been a runner at school, sprinting was what you know it's very completely different. Absolutely. Yeah, so anything more than 200 metres, I was like, you know, absolutely no way.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, I'm done now.

SPEAKER_00:

I'm absolutely done. So yeah, I did the park bench run, which is fabulous, and you were involved, and the other ladies that um support and and gents were fabulous, and then I started doing a few park runs here and there. So that was kind of my fitness regime. Three kind of group classes a week, a couple of runs, one including a park run. And then at the beginning of well, no, last year I watched the London Marathon on the TV. One of my friends was running it, and something in my head went, I'm gonna run that next year.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, I've never had that thought. Most people don't, Julie. And I'm not going to.

SPEAKER_03:

I've never had that thought, and I've done two.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah. I just thought I just something clicked and I was like, I'm gonna run that. Now that was a ridiculous thought because one, it's really, really very hard to get into the London Marathon for anyone that's ever tried to get in. The ballot had, I think, closed by that point or just opened or whatever it was. So I was like, I will apply. Yeah, no, sorry, it was it just opened, hadn't it, with the London marathon just happening in. So I applied, I didn't get in, like most people don't. You know, it's a complete lottery, but I still had in my head, I'm gonna run it.

SPEAKER_02:

I'm gonna run it. So you didn't have that thought where you were like, Thank God I didn't get in. What was I thinking?

SPEAKER_00:

Uh no, it's not. No, you'd like, hang a minute. In my head, I'm right I'm doing this London Marathon. So I still didn't take the sorry, you haven't got a place as a no. Yeah. And I think think looking back in hindsight when you talk about you know manifesting what happens, yeah, I wasn't in control of what happens next. It was completely random, but it just goes to show you when you really think that you are going to do something, it does work out. So January kicked round this year, start of this year, and ten weeks before the London Marathon, a colleague at work said to me, Um, I know this is completely random, but I've got to go in for an operation and I can't take my London Marathon space with a charity that we support in our region. Would you do it? And I was like, Yep.

SPEAKER_02:

And did this person know that you wanted to do the London reference?

SPEAKER_00:

So it was completely random, completely random, and that's what I mean by you know, having that thought in your head, I'm going to do this, this is gonna happen, and completely randomly out of nowhere, a colleague who knew I kept physically fit, knew I did a park run, etc., but you know, definitely wasn't at marathon running level, yeah, randomly offered me their space. So with 10 weeks to the London Marathon, probably ramped it up, having never run more than 5k, I started my marathon training. At the same time, I see an advert for the fire service.

SPEAKER_02:

Oh, it's that recently, yeah, yeah. Cause you've got loads of free time. Yeah, I need something else to do, yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

Board, board, exactly, and I thought I've always wanted to do that, and so I applied. I put my kind of name forward. My dad was a fireman, you know, being a youngster and being surrounded by that, you know what the uniform means. It's a lot more than just bravery, it's community, it's service, it's running being that person that will run towards problems rather than away from them. Yeah, and yeah, I see the advert on social media, and I was like, yep, as well. Funny that manifests on social media neither didn't pop up on your road, you know. And so I applied for the fire service at the same time, and then I did my fitness test. So to get into the fire service, you have to pass a multitude of tests, and it is quite a long journey, it's still not done yet. I've still got my foundation course in January, and then after that, I will be, you know, effectively on call. And it's a two-year training programme, you don't get signed off for two years, but to get in, it's quite a rigorous fitness test, and it's the same whether you're 22, 44, male, female, and rightly so because the expectation is that you can do the job. Yeah, yeah, so I went for this fitness test, it's a basically 20 a 25 metre stretch that you need to do 42 times carrying different equipment, and you have 11 minutes, 11 seconds to do it in. And okay, yeah, just get my head around that. And so that is, I think when you work it out, when I worked it out, is about 42 lengths of that distance is about 1.2 miles. And at a good pace, some people run a 10 minute mile. So doing all of that in 1111 is quite full on. Plus, you're doing it with for eight lengths a 25 kilo barbell, you're then doing it with your breathing apparatus on, which weighs 18 to 25 kilos, and then are putting a hose off the fire engine, which under resistance weighs about 60 kilos. So by the time you get to the other end of the length, you're almost horizontal with the floor. Yeah, you then have to drag drag a 55 kilo dummy for a couple of lengths, you then take off your BA system and you run eight lengths, and then you carry on doing it with different sections of hose. So on your shoulder, above your head, um, and you keep going. And you're doing that all in fire boots as well. So it's like running in wellies, heavy wellies that are not easy to run in. No. So it it's tough, it is tough.

SPEAKER_02:

It does sound tough, by the way. You look like you're trying to convince us.

SPEAKER_00:

They show you a video, you know, you're able to watch it, you can go online and watch it. And if you did, you'd look at it and think, Oh, it looks pretty simple. I know I did wrongly look at it and think, that looks easy enough, I reckon I could do that. And yes, I was obviously training, etc. Um, but it is a lot harder than than it looks. So on the day that I did it the test, I was up against you know, lots of men. Um I think in my first session that I was the only woman in my group. Yeah. Were you one of the older ones as well? Absolutely. Because you're in your 40s, aren't you? Yeah, 46 on Saturday. So yeah, my birthday in a couple of days, and yeah, then I was obviously 45, and everyone was at least half my age. Yeah. Um, I'd say easily. So I failed that first fitness test.

SPEAKER_02:

Did you fail it by time or did you fail it because you couldn't complete the activities? 15 seconds on. No, that just that is not fair, is it? What's the significance of the 1111 then?

SPEAKER_00:

I I I don't I don't actually know. I'm sure that there is a lot of you know science behind um how quickly you can do each of those equipment carriers and what's expected to equate to that time. Um but no.

SPEAKER_02:

Exact, doesn't it? Yeah, and if you've done like especially, I mean, I'm not saying that we should be given some kind of like leeway because we're female over a certain age, but I mean, come on, give 15 seconds, but do you know what, Julie?

SPEAKER_00:

I do agree, but equally, being a woman, you are well aware of people's perceptions in that kind of environment. Yeah, so you don't want any leeway, no, you don't want anyone to go, oh, it's only a couple of seconds. Yeah. If I had failed that by two seconds, it was still a failure. Yeah, yeah. And I think you work harder, you train harder, you want to not just pass, you want to exceed, you want to smash it, yeah. Yeah, yeah. And you know, being a woman in her mid-40s, you know, what better environment to go in with more hot flushes than be surrounded by fire in a full fire kit. Love it, yeah. Oh yeah, at least you've got reason for it. I didn't think this out properly, did I? So yeah, I didn't I know I was devastated, I was actually devastated because you if you don't pass that equipment carry test, you can't do all the other tests. But I stayed with my group and I cheered them on because it was important to me that they had that support and that we stayed as a group, and so but it was even there for more gutting when you have to walk away from that and go, good luck, guys! Well done, you've done brilliantly, and go and get in your car and maybe have a little quiet quieter yourself.

SPEAKER_05:

Yeah, absolutely.

SPEAKER_00:

Um, and they only offer you one reset, you can resit once, and if you don't pass that one, you do have to go through the whole process again, which includes group interview, verbal assessments, um, a whole deal of interviews, etc. And I'd already done all those and so they did offer me a reset and they gave me the date, and it was two days before the London Marathon.

SPEAKER_02:

Oh, geez. Okay. And I was like At least it wasn't on the day of the London Marathon, or the next day, could you imagine?

SPEAKER_00:

Well, I didn't get to do it on the first try, but once you've completed that equipment carry, you have about five or six other tests you need to do, and one of them is confined spaces, where you have to have the cylinder on your back and the BA mask on your face, and you are basically in a cage that's you can only kneel up in, and it's two flights. This cage, and you have to work your way round it. There's dead ends, there's bits in your way, in the pitch black dark, up a level, down a level, and then back the way you came. Yeah, I'm not available for that. And I'm out, and that's before the ladders and the heights are good and it's not a good thing. Heights isn't a problem.

SPEAKER_02:

It's the confined spaces.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, that's a nightmare. And I've seen people come out of that bruised, battered, and bruised, and I thought, if I'm on my knees two days before London Marathon doing that. So I did ask them if they'd possibly postpone it on that reason, and I was very grateful that they did say yes. Oh, thank goodness for that. Um, but what that gave me was the facility to switch my training from endurance to strength. Yeah. So going back to the very long answer to your original question, you know, the first part of this year was very much around endurance and running and building up those long miles every Sunday. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03:

I mean, how many times have we run past each other on the beach? Hi! 16, yeah, off we go. We did that, we did our longest one together, didn't we? We did indeed. We got mum to drop us off in War Paul Bay, and we ran all the way back to just we can almost see where we finished out of your window, Julie. And that last three kilometres was the worst three kilometres of my entire life, I swear.

SPEAKER_00:

It was tough, it was tough. But I I've not said this to you before, but I will always be grateful for that run because I'd run every training run on my own because I just did. It had to work around my busy life, so I'd randomly throw in times when I would do these long runs. But that 20 miles is the pretty much always the longest that you do. Yeah, some people go to 22 or more, but 20 is generally the longest you run before a marathon. And not only did that give me two fabulous swimming to run with and endure those like hours on the uh seafront pacing in the cold, but what it gave me was an amount of respect for why people do what they do. So I know the story of why you and your sister were running for the charity you were running for, and it made me really grateful that the charity I was running for, I was running for out of hope rather than the heartbreak that you'd had. So I think when you're at the London Marathon and you hear the stories over the Tanoi and you know, just why people are doing what they do, yeah, it's really humbling. But when I had the opportunity to run that and do it out of weirdly enjoyment, which sounds a bit sick and twisted now, I'm saying it. Um, yeah, that really gave me some gratitude. Yeah, and every time I thought, oh god, my legs, oh my knees, oh god, I'm aching, oh I want to stop. When you look at somebody who's been through some really, really tough times and appreciate that that's what strength looks like, it gives you a different view on how you should your perception of what's bang, and Claire's a machine, and you just gotta keep running after her, honestly.

SPEAKER_04:

Claire's got this thing about not stopping, and I'm like, oh my god, just a minute, and she just goes on and on and on.

SPEAKER_03:

I have actually brought her around to the dark side of Jeffing.

SPEAKER_00:

Yes, I've I've corrupted her every so often. Catherine and I would just look at each other and go, like, I think we're missing look of another gel, should we do another jail? No, yes, I can't remember where I got to now, but yes, the endurance to to strength. That's where you got to. I did that. Is where I got to. Lots of lots of running at the beginning of the half of the year, and then I powered into the gym.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

And I pretty much replicated that equipment carry in the gym.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah. So I was just saying it, that now makes sense. Lots of your videos, like the um farmer carries and all that sort of stuff, now makes much more sense.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, and I'd wrap the rope around the sled and I'd put kilos of weight on it, and I'd run with that over my shoulder, like you're pulling a hose. So no one knew what I was doing, but they probably looked at me like, what is this nutter doing? Because at some points I did do it in Well is.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, well, you've got to train, you've got to train, right, haven't you? You've got to. So yeah, yeah. Doesn't matter what anyone else thinks, you knew what you were doing, right?

SPEAKER_03:

Did you have somebody programming him that for you, or did you make I don't mean make it up, but did you decide what you were gonna do?

SPEAKER_00:

Yes and no. So I've always been very good at seeking the right advice, but not always listening to it's good for me to know. Just about to start working with Julie, she's nodding at me like okay, one of the hoes. So um with the running, I sought out um James Mayborn from Bay Run Coaching, yeah, a little bit of run coaching, and he was absolutely brilliant and has a great kind of squad that joined his running club that um really motivational and supportive, etc. So I sought out um somebody on Facebook, he runs a fighting fire fit, I think it's called off the top of my head. He does a bit of a coaching app specifically for firefighters, and again gave me a um four-day plan of what to do at the gym, which did also incorporate some running. So I'd followed that, but the yeah, the equipment carry test that you need to do, I just replicated and I did that on top of my training, which was probably one too much, and I probably shouldn't have been doing that. But when it's 11 minutes, 11 seconds, you've got to be you say to yourself, it's only it's only 11 minutes, so I would bust that in at least once a week just to see if I could get that time down and down and down on top of the strength training. Yeah, so what did you achieve in your test? So I resat the very end of July, and I think I came in, let me just remember right, it was close. It was I think 10.48. Wow, yep.

SPEAKER_03:

That's a good big difference from from your your first one.

SPEAKER_00:

Yep, that's amazing. But in my head, it was like it no one asks you then really what time you've got because you've either passed it because that is the pass. If I'd have got 11.10, I'd have been happy.

unknown:

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

I'd have been like, if it's a pass, it's a pass. So um yeah, the feeling when I had done that was like nothing I can describe. Invincible! Yeah, yeah, nice. I mean, running the London Marathon is is phenomenal. Yeah, the crowds are amazing. Oh my god. And everyone says it to you, and having never experienced it, you think I just got fused pubs just thinking about that then. It's phenomenal. And if anyone does go up and watch the London Marathon and take signs and cheers people on, you know, all fair play to you because it makes such a difference, a huge amount of difference, and you know that that feeling is fantastic. But yeah, that feeling when I got back in my car that day after passing that test. Phenomenal.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, that's amazing. Well done. So have you kept up your endurance and strength, a mixture of both, or what what are you doing with your exercise? And what did you what did you actually find that you enjoyed the most? Because you said you've done classes in the past, you've done sprint running, team sports like netball, then you're you're doing strength training, endurance. What have you what have you discovered that you actually like?

SPEAKER_00:

So I haven't gone back to classes, although I will do a spin every so often. I have kept up the running and I have kept up the fire fit programme because it doesn't stop.

SPEAKER_03:

I was just gonna say that's just the beginning, right?

SPEAKER_00:

I was gonna say you've got to keep that level of fitness now, haven't you? Yeah, you're tested every year, so you are fitness tested every year, anyway, to make sure you are, you know, fit enough to do the job. Yeah. And the demands of the job are demanding. Demanding, yeah. Yeah. It's intense, you know, it's not glamorous, it's it's real, it's gritty, and it's it takes a lot of determination and fitness.

SPEAKER_03:

You say it's not glamorous. You looked pretty good in that uniform when I saw you in the carnival.

SPEAKER_02:

I've not seen this photo.

SPEAKER_03:

It's very smart in a uniform.

SPEAKER_02:

Bless you. I could imagine.

SPEAKER_00:

But yeah, so I I as I say I'm in the gym at least two or three times a week doing strength. I run two or three times, whatever the other, whatever works out is six days out of seven, I do two or three of each each week. Which keeps me sane more than anything. You know, one, it feels good to keep your fitness up because you know you are gonna be prepared. And after I've done my foundation course and I am out on the run, you never know what you're gonna turn up to.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

So you know, when people's lives potentially depend on how fit you are, working out in the gym brings a different kind of sense to the influence of why you're doing it. Yeah, so yes, I do it because it makes me feel good. I do it because it is a bit of my own sanity, you know, that time in the gym or that time on the road running with my podcast in my years, etc., is my time, but it also serves a purpose, right? It it ensures that I keep that level of fitness up and feel sane in myself about doing it as at the same time.

SPEAKER_02:

Do you feel like you've switched to another level from being someone that's always been fit and looked after yourself in that way to training specifically for a marathon and then the fire brigade? Do you know in your body that there's been like a have you like experienced a different level of fitness? Do you feel like really badass? Like, yeah, I'm really strong and you know.

SPEAKER_03:

Oh yeah, because you should do. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

I think I'm always somebody that thinks I can always do better. You know, when you think I could lift more, I could do more, I could run faster. I always have been hard on myself, but also know where there's loads of opportunity. I think it's when other people recognise it that you kind of go, Oh, okay. You know, when some people go, Coyote look at you, look at your muscles or um, call Blimey, you've been working out at the gym. When other people notice it, you think, um, okay, it's now obvious to other people, it's not, you know, just me knowing that I'm going to the gym that people are saying. I I think what's more important is where I have been putting up videos on my social media, you sometimes wonder why you're doing that. For what for what reason am I putting it up? Yeah. And I've had so many people come up to me and say, I've been really inspired by watching you, and that's why I do it. Yeah. Because there might be people that roll their eyes and go, Oh, here she is in the gym again. But there's also people that go, Well, if you can do that, I can do that. Yeah. Um, and actually, even if it just means me getting up and doing one thing or making one change in my life, or go or even just going to the gym and signing up, you know. I know you've then got to make the effort to go, but if you can just take those steps to make one change in your life that makes you feel better, yeah, and that what you've done has inspired that movement, then yeah, then I'll keep doing it.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, no, I I mean I agree. I certainly sometimes when I'm doing videos, I'm like, why am I posting this? But I think I mean, number one, it is it's great that it's inspiring other people to do that. But number two, why the bloody hell shouldn't you? Like, you are absolutely badassing the gym. Why why do we have this thing that we shouldn't show it off? Because I'm I'm relatively sure that most men don't know like that would post it wouldn't be thinking, oh, I don't think I should post this. May I mean maybe they do, maybe that's unfair. But the other purpose it has is to highlight the people behind you on your camera when they're not working out. I watched one of your videos and then I sent it to my daughter because it has her boyfriend in the back sat on one of the weights machines on his phone. It just made me howl. He was working out in one of them, and then the next video he was sat there on his phone. I was like brilliant, brilliant, absolutely. But there are also, there's still every now and again, there's folks behind you as you're lifting massive weights that kind of look, I don't know whether they look intimidated or impressed.

SPEAKER_00:

I'm not really sure what the the face is, but they're watching. And I you know, I watch other people as well. A friend of mine, she put up a video of her a couple of days ago doing like a 160 kilo deadlift. Wow. And it makes you champion other people. I was like, God, what is phenomenal? Like that is super strong. Like, well done, you. Yeah. And and then she called me out back and was like, We're badass in the gym. Um, it's nice, you know, women, cheerleading other women, um, strong women, and you know, calling it out and making it uh something that you should be proud of is yeah, really nice. And then I think I put a post on this week, and then the local gym that I go to then reshared that post of me, and then you think, oh, that's nice, yeah. And yeah, it makes you kind of realise why you do it.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, yeah, that's cool. That is fantastic. Yeah, you're and you you went full on into your circus arts, I don't know what to call it, circus fitness, circus don't know.

SPEAKER_00:

Well, I'd always done aerial silks. Okay. So um there was a local tutor that used to teach, unfortunately, she has just passed it on to somebody else. She was phenomenal, and I've always done aerial silks and loved loved it. And then when I had the thought in my head about joining the fire service, I did think I might need to get over my fear of heights. Ah so the trapeze thing is a recent thing then? So I've only been doing trapeze for about the last couple of years, yeah. Okay, yeah. So I'd had the thought in my head previously about joining the fire service, but nothing had come up at that point. So again, like knowing that things will happen in your future, yeah, I must have kind of pre-saw that. And when I see it advertised uh a school that is Ashford Way, um Simea Circus, I had previously did a silk class with Liam and Summer who run Simea Circus. So they'd come in and taken one of our six classes when our teacher was off, and obviously, of our connection on social media, it started popping up that they was opening the circus school in Ashford. I thought, oh, that bit that's really interesting, that's a bit of me. So many things that they was doing and advertising. I was like, this sounds lush. And then I see flying trapeze, and I was like, Yes, hell yes. Hell yes, sign me up. Um, but yeah, I did always have a bit of a fear of heights, and I was thinking, I wonder how this is gonna pan out. You've got to just face it and do it anyway. Yeah, um, so yeah, I'm quite skilled on ladder climbing now. So the the fire service that came in really um handy. Send all the send all the firefighters off to circus school. So yeah, I joined the um school and started the first adult flying trapeze squad that they put together. We trained every week and then we went out to France to a big trapeze convention, which was phenomenal. Yeah. Um, with trapeze artists from all over the world, and some really, really very talented people. And Circus brings together the most eclectic, eccentric, amazing, free-loving people that it just brings a different kind of energy. You know, it's just a different kind of energy in those places. You can do anything, achieve anything, and there's nothing more thrilling than flying through the air, letting go, and then realising you've survived, I suppose.

unknown:

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

I can I can completely relate to that in the stuff that I do as well. Yeah, that feeling of flying and being free, and then actually coming away from a training session, going, Yes, I'm still alive, landing on both feet.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, that that's brilliant. You know, just that freedom is is amazing. So yeah, I did that because one, it piqued my interest, and I thought this is gonna be really fun, yeah. Um, really handy for your strength.

SPEAKER_03:

I was gonna say you because you feel like you're we could I could see your this is gonna sound very odd, but I did see you in a swimming costume on the beach very frequently. So we could I could see your physique changing through your circus training.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, and you have to have a decent amount of flexibility as well. So if you're doing a two to and a half hour class, you might do an hour of conditioning before you do it.

SPEAKER_03:

Two and a half hour class. I mean, wow, even for me that sounds exhausting.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, I mean it was exhausting, it is exhausting. Um, you know, there's lots of stats that you know someone like Liam would be able to reel off without hesitation, but I can't remember them all about the equivalence of trapeze flying and powerlifter. There is quite a similarity from the an exertion that you're putting on your muscles and your body.

SPEAKER_05:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

Um so you might only do five or six flies in one session, but the stress that not the stress but the pressure that that puts on yourself, the strength that is needed, yeah, you need all that conditioning beforehand to make sure you are in good shape. Yeah. And it gives you an amount of flexibility, you know, handstands and um, you know, kickbacks off the wall and goodness knows what shapes they got us into in that conditioning exercise.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, but I can see how you can then apply that all to the fire service as well, because it's it's quite functional, isn't it? And you're gonna you're gonna need that when you're on the go and you yeah, you don't know what you're gonna do. That's amazing. Now, does all of these bits and pieces, well, for anybody listening, won't uh they won't now be surprised at what your what your new diagnosis is.

SPEAKER_00:

Um yeah, so I did recently get diagnosed as being ADHD, which after of everything I've just said probably doesn't come to any of your listeners as a surprise either. Um was it a surprise to you? I'd say no. But I think that's because I had seen what I thought was potential signs of ADHD in one of my children, uh-huh. Exasperated through COVID, like most things. And as with anything, you start researching it, you start looking it up, and the algorithms kick in, and the more you look, the more you see, and the more I saw, the more I thought, oh that sounds like me.

SPEAKER_05:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

And so I probably had four or five years of thinking that before I was then diagnosed. So for me, it didn't come as a shock at all. It didn't come as a shock, it didn't come as a surprise, it came as confirmation. So there was no great revelation. You know, I didn't, you know, the angels didn't start singing the rainbows come out in the sky. It was just like, uh, yeah, well, it just confirmed what I thought I knew.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah. And what has that has that changed anything for you? Or have you changed anything?

SPEAKER_00:

No, I think because as a woman in your mid-40s, anyway, whatever you know, quirks you've got in your personality, you find strategies that and outlets that support what you know is expected of you in kind of life, but also how you react and how you deal with things. So I think I'd built up strategies over many years without even knowing, you know, subconsciously. Um, but what it did give me was permission to forgive myself for the stuff I always beat myself up over. You know, I can fit, as you've probably heard, a thousand things into my day. You know, I can work, I can, you know, fire off emails, I can deal with multi-million pound businesses, I can look after for children, like I can pack all of this stuff into my day, but then big life admin doesn't happen. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The big stuff, the forgetting your insurance renewal and letting it roll over to like a higher price, or forgetting to cancel subscriptions, which we had a conversation about the other day, and you know, mortgage renewals, all the big, big stuff that cost you. I I've heard someone recently talk about the ADHD tax. There is definitely an ADHD tax. You end up definitely either with more like fines because you forget to do stuff, or you know, buying that, buy one, get one free at the supermarket because it's the dopamine fix. Oh, that sounds like a good deal, but you've got no intention of eating the other one, you know. That it's all that extra money that you pay out for things that you don't need or don't want. And actually, once you've brought it, it's kind of irrelevant. Um so I'd put off things like without consciously doing it, but just put stuff off that didn't give me that instant dopamine hit, you know, anything that wasn't a quick win or an instant fix, I'd be like, oh yeah, I'll get to that.

SPEAKER_05:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

And that might be months embarrassingly, sometimes it might be years later. And then once I've done it, I think, why the hell did you not just do that in the first place? You know, but in those months or years, you've lived with that quiet shame or guilt and you beat yourself up. That person that we've all got on our shoulder that goes, Why are you so bloody useless? Why can't you just get things done? Why can't you just get out the door on time? Why can't you just do this? Why can't you do that? When you've had that voice for 44 years, yeah, you your angel on your shoulder is having to work so much harder to constantly override that. And I think actually that's one thing that running did for me that I didn't realise at the time. Because when you're running, that devil on your shoulder is like, this is so hard. Why you know you stop? Why are you bothering to do this? Why why? Why are you doing this? What there's absolutely not serving you in any way, shape, or form. Just stop. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just stop. Yeah, you can't breathe. You need a drink, you could be sitting in front of the telly, it's a perfectly good coffee shop over there. Yeah. But so that angel on your shoulder needs to be like, You've got this, you can do this. Look at this next stop, give yourself to this next mile. You kind of almost train that good side of yourself, that champion, that cheerleader, to be a lot more um proactive in their praise for yourself, and you need that when sometimes the devil on your shoulder can have a little bit of a foghorn. So true, yeah, absolutely true. So it gave me the permission to forgive myself for the stuff that I wasn't so good at.

SPEAKER_05:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

And I think anyone that's got a late diagnosis will say that I think the overriding feeling is you'd just like to go back to your younger or teenage self and just put your arm around them and say you're gonna be alright. Yeah. You're actually quite bloody brilliant, yeah. You just don't realise it yet. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

Well, I mean, I feel like that's actually a really good place to wrap up today. I know that you've got to go because you've got a million and one things to do today. I think we've tied her down where we've kept it, yeah. But I think that like the the moral of this story, I think, is that we can all do way more than we realise sometimes. And you're an example of that, and a lovely example of that, you know, to fit all of that in, but just show that being a woman woman in your 40s, you can go and achieve that test at the fire brigade, and you can get on a flying trapeze, and you can do all this stuff, and why shouldn't you? So I applaud you, I think it's William. Thank you.

SPEAKER_03:

No, I completely completely agree. And I but you're also doing it like you research it, you've supported yourself, you make sure that you're hydrated, you make sure that your nutrition is on point, you seek the advice that you need to support yourself, you don't just like burn yourself out.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, I think it's important when you are at this age to when you stop and you go, is this the best version of me? Is this it? That you go, no, it's not, and the best version of you is just waiting for you to show up. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03:

Don't drop the microphone. Thank you so so much. If you're not in our far too fabulous Facebook group, I will make sure that you are after this. So if anybody's got any comments if this story resonated with anybody, then come and have a chat to us in the group. Yeah, brilliant. We see you on the next episode. Thank you so much for joining us today. We love creating this for you. We'll be back next week with another great episode.

SPEAKER_01:

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